I can't believe it's Middle Earth!
by Deyna Ian Bloom
Summary: A show storm and an elevator transport two girls into Middle-Earth. Haldir is a poo poo head and Legolas is sweet, but this world is better than before! CO written with Arwenamin. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1: Haldir needs a spanken!

Lizzie POV

Middle Earth. For a lot of people this place is just a fantasy world that you can't get to even if you paid a millon dollars. For me, it was a place to get away from the world that I lived in. At night, when my parents weren't fighting, I would curl up and read my favorite books in the world by J.R.R Tolkien. But when my house shook with my parent's anger, it was nice to slip into someone elses world and get their sympathy. Frodo, Legolas, Merry, Pippin and all the others smiled at me from my covers and said, "Forget yourself, come with us." But I'm getting away with myself. I do that a lot.

My name is Elizabeth. Sometimes called Lizzie, Liz, whatever. I was a junior in High School when I decided to take a walk through town. My father was drunk and asleep upstairs and I knew better than to make noise and wake him up. I walked a few blocks away from my house and found myself in the clean part of town. The lawns were all cut, the trees trimmed. Cars parked in the garages, recycling and trash in handy boxes. I smiled to myself. Hmm, this was way better than where I lived. I quickly walked the block and moved onto the next one. I wrapped my coat tightly around myself because it had gotten slightly colder since my walk had started.

"That's odd," I said out loud. It was Texas where I lived and this year had been oddly warm for winter.

The temperature dropped and the drizzle turned to heavy snow.

Wait! This is Texas! How is this happening? I shrugged. What did I care? As soon as it stopped, I would get to make a snowman. I kept on walking but the storm didn't let up.

'Oh dear.' I thought. 'I shan't be getting home anytime soon.' I walked until I was sure that I was on my own block, but then I realized, I wasn't in my town anymore. The storm had stopped but there were no houses to be seen! There wasn't even snow on the ground! I quickly unzipped my jacket but the zipper stuck. I concentrated on it but kept on walking.

Unfortunately, a tree jumped out in front of me.

"Ow." The jacket came off and I deposited it on the ground.

"Hmm, wonder where I am." I felt of the trees and the grass. "Odd, it looks just like Lorien in Lord of the Rings." I laughed. Maybe the storm had brought me to New Zealand. Yessss! Now I could go meet Karl Urban (Eomer) and then he could let me meet Orlando Bloom! A bit of spit started flooding my mouth at the thought.

"Who are you?" A voice inside my head said. "I am Galadriel and you are in my lands, Elizabeth."

"Oh Lord. Oh boy." I breathed slowly as I figured out where I was but stopped and smiled. "Hee hee, well now at least I can buy a costume and not have to make one. I've always wanted a red one. Or maybe a black one with red-"

"Will you stop talking about clothes and listen to me?" Galadriel's voice made me shut up. "I know where you come from and I know where your friend is."

"I know what it is you saw." I said, imitating her line. I just couldn't resist.

"Oh, skip it." She said. I felt myself falling and I fell on someone.

"What the--?? Elizabeth?"

"Neveth!" I was stunned. I had never seen Neveth in person before. "Wow! Looking good."


	2. Chapter 2: A snow storm, in Texas?

Heather POV

Middle Earth. You know I never really thought it existed. I loved reading about the world created by Oxford scholar, JRR Tolkien, but not once in a million years could I have thought that I would actually end up here. But I've been here now in Middle Earth for a little over a year, I think. I've seen the glory of Minas Tirith, the gloom of the border between Gondor and Mordor, the natural beauty of Imladris, and the enchantment of the Golden Wood of Lothlorien.

Middle-Earth is untainted by modern technologies and pollution; you know you would think I would miss it being from the twenty-first century on Earth, but I don't. I have some possessions that remind me of where I come from, and also a friend. But we'll get to that later. Now, however, I am going to tell my story.

I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Heather, when I came here I was about to turn 21 years old. I'm short, standing in at a petite 5'3", I'm not waif thin, nor am I squat like a Dwarf. I am simply me. I was in my fourth and final year of college at the University of Alabama in Huntsville. I could speak French. I had a car. I had an apartment. I had a life.

Now I speak 4 languages...not bad for someone who's only been here a year and some change. French, English, Sindarin, and a little Quenyan. I have no car, but a majestic horse named Rosalita in honor of my little red Honda. I no longer live in my cramped apartment with my cat, Sméagol, but in a tree with another Elf. (note: I used to live with my friend, but she moved away...) Life just ain't bad here. *winks*

It all started on a blustery February morning. It was cold as almighty get out and windy to boot. I was walking out of the University Fitness Center after my 8:00 Yoga class (which I still do by the way) to my next class at Roberts Hall, the History of Modern France, fun fun.

I was lugging my green duffel bag, which contained my notebook and my text and also the supplemental text for the class, but who cares? I also had an extra set of clothes to change into after class so i could go to work. There was my makeup, extra shoes, deodorant, etc. I'm a stuff junkie. It was so cold, yet so sunny, I was not happy.

I hate cold weather, which is why I never visit my Elf friends in Imladris, the Misty Mountains are way too cold for my tastes. Anyway, I made it to Roberts Hall and got onto the God-forsaken broken elevator (it's an engineering school, they care nothing for us lowly Liberal Arts majors). Anyway, the elevator was ascending when all of the sudden we heard a creaking noise and a snap.

The elevator shuddered and I remember thinking to myself that this was it, Valhalla here I come! It was quiet for a minute and before anyone could breathe in relief, the elevator lurched again and there was another snap, then we were falling. It was only 3 floors, but seriously could have been 30 for all I cared. I was so scared, and as I braced myself for the impact that never came, I was thinking about lawyers and how I was going to sue the pants off of the University.

As my life flashed before my eyes, I felt myself thrown forward. Expecting to hit the steel walls of the elevator, you can imagine my surprise when I landed on a big tree root. I lay there for a minute, stunned. Am I dead? I wondered. I heard nothing, not even a bird. So St. Peter is going to judge me in a forest. Great, I thought. I pulled myself up and looked around, a huge forest surrounded me.

"Where am I?" I whispered out loud. I picked up my bag and slung the strap over my shoulder. There were no paths, just grass and a few fallen leaves. I took a few steps forward when all of the sudden an arrow was nocked right in front of my face. I jumped. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" I gasped. I looked up at my potential killer, expecting a Robin Hood Men in Tights refugee, instead I found myself face to face with one of the hottest men I had ever seen. He had cold gray eyes and really long platinum hair, it was almost silver. I looked around and found myself surrounded by hot blond gods with their arrows ready to kill me.

"Holy knickers," I breathed, "If I am about to die, then I shall die happy. Thank you God!" The first man I looked at said something terse and sharp in a language that was somewhat familiar to me.

I stared at him wide-eyed, but my eyes almost popped outta my head when I saw his ears...pointed. That could only mean one of two things, the first was that St. Peter was an Elf and Heaven was Middle Earth and I was going to be judged with dying a second time, or that I was in Middle-Earth, just like those giggly ha ha girls in the fanfics who go to Middle Earth and find Legolas after two days and fall madly in love. I prayed that it was the latter, and right about then I prayed that Legolas, or anyone, for that matter, would save me.

"Uh...mae govannen?" I said, smiling kinda timidly.

The leader, whose body language gave away his arrogant and cold nature, looked at me in surprise.

"Who are you and what is your business in Lorien?" he demanded coldly in English, his accent making him more alluring to me by the second. Hello Nurse!

I thought fast, "Get those arrows outta my face and maybe I will." I was not happy. I needed a cigarette bad. Maybe they would let me smoke...hmm...not bloody likely.

The Elf-man signaled to his little Elf-friends to lower their arrows. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Now, what is your name and why are you here?"

I answered while rummaging through my bag for a smoke; hey I know I said I was trying to quit but good God, this was killing me. I thought fast, should I use one of my RPG names? At this point I knew I was screwed anyway, might as well have a little fun, n'est-ce pas? I found my cigarettes and a lighter and lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply before replying,

"My name is Isilwen, and I'm not quite sure as to why I am here, but I am. Nice to meet you, who are you by the way?" 

They all stared at me as if I were insane, the leader wrinkled his nose at the smell of the smoke.

"You have an Elven name and yet you are human, you appeared as from nowhere. Are you a witch? Perhaps a spy from Mordor?" he looked at me menacingly.

I smiled, "Um, do I smell as if I come from Mordor, Master Elf?" I asked him sarcastically. I was so glad I was missing today's chapter on the French Revolution, this was totally so much more interesting.

"Hold your sharp tongue," he commanded.

"Would you like to feel how sharp it can get?" I asked testily, getting more upset by the minute. Could he not understand that I was like a bajillion dimensions from my home? Probably not, typical male. He probably did not care.

"I would not speak again if I were you." he said arrogantly.

I raised my eyebrow. "What's your name?" I asked, very nicely I thought.

He looked at me witheringly, "I am the Marchwarden of Lothlorien. I am Haldir." he said proudly.

Haldir? Wow! Hello, Sexy Elf-Jerk Man! He was better looking up close and personal than he was in the films! He commanded something in Elvish to his partners in crime. I took another pull from my almost dead cigarette. Suddenly two Elves grabbed my shoulders and pulled my hands back, Haldir the almighty leader of the wardens took my bag and slung it over his shoulder. I cried out in protest as the two Elves bound my hands,

"What are you going to do to me? Because I promise you that if you hurt me I'll sue the pants off you too! Sacre bleu!" 

Haldir looked over at me in disdain, "Isilwen, we are taking you to our flet in the trees until we are relieved from our watch."

Aw man...three days with this hot sexy jerk. How lucky am I?

"How long will that take?" I asked.

"Three days."

"Three days?! You expect me to sit complacent while hogtied for three whole days?" 

"You will comply or suffer the consequences."

"Oh my gawd, what are you going to do? shoot me with arrows? Groom me to death?"

I received no answer, only Haldir scooping me up in his arms (actually, he slung me over his shoulder, but that sounded so much more better) and heading towards the rope ladder that appeared from nowhere.

"Oh, but we just met!" I squealed annoyingly. 

"Silence!"

"You know this could get kinky!" I laughed out loud to hide my unease.

No reply but I could tell I made him feel reeeeeally uncomfortable. Good. I did not like the fact that these Elves were all male and that I was clad in yoga pants and shoes, a sports bra top and a cotton warm up jacket. Suddenly I wished I had some overalls, a turtleneck sweater and a down parka.

Ten minutes later my butt was sore from sitting on the hard wood and my arms were becoming stiff.

"Can you untie me, pleeeeaaaasssee?" I begged one of Haldir's comrades. 

He looked at me in amusement and said something in Elvish that I did not understand.

"Yo, Haldir!" I shouted.

He glared at me icily, "Be silent."

"Can you please, please, please untie me? Pretty, pretty please with sugar and cherries and sweet 'n low on top?"

"No"

"Then suffer the consequences."

He scoffed, "What consequences?"

"I will shout and yell and annoy you until you untie me. You think I have it in me to kill a hottie like you? Uh...no." I said the last part under my breath.

He rolled his eyes, but I could tell he was considering it. "Fine, but you will be silent and not speak unless spoken to."

"Okay, okay, no need to get all nineteenth century on me, Jesus, Mary and Joseph."

He untied me rather reluctantly I thought. I sat and rummaged through my bag until I found my copy of "The Sweet Potato Queens" I wasn't about to retrieve "The Silmarillion" nor the "Two Towers" for the obvious reasons. After about an hour I was bored with reading and decided to do some Yoga stretches.

"Breathe in, breathe out. Now pull yourself into Downward Facing Dog." I murmured as I stretched.

Haldir was there in the blink of an eye. He was hot, but he was beginning to irritate me. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Yoga," I said irritably.

"Well stop it. And be silent, I could hear you from where I was standing." 

"Whatever...stupid Elf" I muttered under my breath. He turned around quickly and gave me an icy death glare.

He left me and I resumed my sitting position, Indian Style, on the stupid floor of the walless ceilingless prison from hell.

I thought Middle Earth was supposed to be fun, with all the adventures with Frodo and Aragorn and becoming an Elf and stuff. Apparently those giggly ha ha fangirls knew nothing of the real thing. This stunk.

I decided to sing for lack of something better to do, besides it made me closer to home. (Tourniquet by Evanescence)

"I tried to kill my pain

But only brought more

I lay dying

And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.

I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

My God, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation

My God, my tourniquet

Return to me salvation.

Do you remember me?

Lost for so long?

Will you be on the other side

Or will you forget me?

I'm dying, praying----Ooof!"

Somebody landed hard on top of me. "What the--?? Elizabeth?" 

The person was Elizabeth, one of my RPG buddies. This was definitely going to be fun.


	3. Chapter 3: Curtesy

Heather POV

"Neveth! Wow! Looking good!" Was the first thing Lizzie said when we disentangled ourselves.

I smirked, "Thanks mejita, you too!"

I glanced over at Haldir, who looked like he wanted to kill me. Oh yeah, like Lizzie's entrance into Middle Earth was all my fault, you stupid Elf! I screamed in my head, man I was so glad she was here though. Maybe we could have devised a plan of tying that self-involved dorkster to a tree! I laughed out loud at the thought. Everyone stared at me. 

"So," I began jovially, "What brings you here to Lothlorien?" I glanced at Haldir who gave me a look as if I were muck on the bottom of his precious shoes.

Lizzie smiled, "I'm not sure, I think it was the snowstorm."

"Snowstorm? Wow, I was brought here via crappy broken elevator!" I said laughing, "Man alive, it's so good to finally meet you!"

"I know! So how long have you been here?" she asked me.

"Long enough to know that Prince Legolas will not be rescuing us to live as the Queen of Mirkwood anytime soon!" I said sarcastically.

Haldir's ears perked at the words "Legolas" and "Mirkwood" He nocked another arrow at us. I rolled my eyes.

"You know of the Elven Realm of Mirkwood and of Prince Legolas?!" he demanded without preamble.

Lizzie and I exchanged glances. "Um...yeah!"

"And you," he said addressing Lizzie, "Who are you and what is your business?"

"Oh my Gawd! Will you please stop with the arrows? It's not very chivalrous!" I shouted, irritated to the point of no return. 

Do you know what he did? He stuck his stupid arrow in my face! I glanced at Lizzie who seemed to be taking all of this in with amused interest. "Anyway, as I was saying, I've been here long enough to know that Monsieur Haldir the Great isn't like the story!" we laughed, despite the situation with the arrow. 

He cautiously lowered the arrow. "I will ask you once more, who are you and what is your business in Lorien?" he coldly demanded of Lizzie.

"There now you big pussycat, was that so hard to be nice?" 

Lizzie POV

I almost had a fit of laughter sitting in the tree house with Haldir and Heather. I knew that Heather would looove to grab Haldir and kiss him but also wanted to kick his shin in the process.

"I will ask you once more, who are you and what is your business in Lorien?" He demanded.

"There now you big pussycat, was that so hard to be nice?" Heather fought back giggles as I answered.

"If you want to know, ask Galadriel." I moved his arrow away from me. "Oh and, keep your arrow in it's holder."

"I don't believe in shooting a woman so you have no fear. What is your name." I looked at Heather who told me with her eyes to use a RPG name.

"Celemir. Celemir Ironbow." He looked puzzled. 

"Yet again I wonder at your names."

"What about Aragorn, Boromir, Eowyn, Eomer. They have Elvish names." He slowly considered this.

Heather POV

"Duh, you stupid Elf!" I said, trying to contain my laughter after Lizzie .. ahem Celemir informed Haldir of the obvious. 

"Do you want to sleep suspended from the branches?" he roared at me. 

"Meep!" I squeaked, cough cough, deep manly voice, "I mean NO!" 

"Be silent," he said icily enunciating his words 

"Meeeeow!" I said under my breath, as he bristled with anger. Oooh he was so cute when he was angry! 

"Dude," I said to Lizzie, pulling my bag closer to where we sat, "You hungry?" 

She nodded wordlessly, her face red with contained laughter. I went through my bag and found lunch! Woo hoo! 

"I got salad, tuna fish, three hard boiled eggs, annnnnnd an orange!" 

She looked at me as if I were insane (what was with everyone today?) "Why do you have such a weird lunch?" she asked me. 

I laughed. "I'm on the South Beach diet...no carbs for two weeks, and the sentence was almost over, tommorrow I had planned on eating a grilled cheese sandwich and a big hunk of cheese cake...mmm cheese!" 

"That doesn't sound like fun." 

I sighed, "It's not, I haven't had a decent carb filled meal in like forever." 

She looked at my bag, "What else you got in there?" 

"Hmm...clothes for work, toiletries so I look presentable, makeup, my books for the class I missed today, and four novels...'The Sweet Potato Queens,' 'The Shining,' 'wotay owerstay,' and 'the ilmarrillionsay,' if you get what I mean." 

She nodded. 

I continued talking, "We have to stay in this stupid tree house for THREE WHOLE DAYS until we can move on to Caras Galadhon." 

Haldir sharply glared at me, and I wanted to smooch him. 

I blew him a kiss and then stuck my tongue out. "So...what do you wanna do after we talk to Miss Lady?" I asked, "Wanna go to Mirkwood?" I asked her slyly, awaiting her reaction.


	4. Chapter 4: Ropes and guys

Lizzie POV

I slowly considered this.

"Well, if Haldir is a dooky head, what would that make Legolas? Would he be nice, or have 10 girls on each arm with a head so big you can't see around it." I shrugged. It was possible. I smiled again.

"How about I take Haldir and you can take Legolas." Heather cocked an imaginary gun.

"No way, Jose! Haldir's-" she stopped because the elf in question was standing over her.

"Haldir's right here. You can ask him yourself about how you want some blankets." I smirked. It was summer. Haldir stalked off.

"Hea- Isilwen, do we really have to stay here for three days with, HIM??!!" I acted like I was dying. A cute elf guy walked up.

"Are you injured?" He said, in the cutest voice (only second to Legolas's).

"No, I'm fine, but I might need you later if Haldir Raincloud doesn't let us go soon." He smiled and walked away. "Hmm, it might not be that bad after all." 
    
    
    Heather POV

I sighed as Lizzie asked the question that lay in both of our hearts, "Hea- Isilwen, do we really have to stay here for three days with, HIM??!!" I thought she was gonna die at this point. 

Before I could answer, one of Haldir's sexy Elf comrades walked over, "Are you injured?" 

"No, I'm fine, but I might need you later if Haldir's raincloud dosen't let us go soon." He smiled and walked away. "Hmm, it might not be that bad after all." 

I smiled lazily, "Nope, it just might not be!" I put on my J-Lo sunglasses and lay back with my hands behind my head, checking out a fine piece of Elvish specimen that was not named Haldir; although he would have been cuter without his superiority complex. 

"So what are we supposed to do for three days?" I complained to nobody in particular. 

"I don't know, something, this treehouse is boring." Lizzie replied. 

"Ya I know!" I said loudly, "It's boring here in MIDDLE EARTH!" 

I then lowered my voice, "Maybe we can annoy them so bad they'll just give up their 3 days and take us to Galadriel...or maybe we can sneak away!" I was desperate, and I wasn't about to stay in this stupid tree thing for the next 72 hours of my life. 

Lizzie smiled, "Or maybe we can do both." 

I smiled evilly, "I get it," I said craftily. I looked over to Haldir who was talking to some of his hot comrades. 

"Oh Haldir!" I cried out in a singsong voice. 

He glared at me and came over. "What...do...you....want?" he demanded through gritted teeth. 

I smiled charmingly, "Will you please take us to Caras Galadhon...NOW?!" 

He looked at me as if I were stupid or something, "No." 

Lizzie and I exchanged glances. 

I stood up drawing myself up to my full height with came up to the middle of his chest. I traced my finger up his arm, "Please?" I purred. 

He looked at me warily and said nothing. 

I tangled my fingers in his silky silver hair seductively, "Come on you know you want to," I said breathily, swallowing my laughter. 

"No," came his reply after a moment of hesitation. 

"Are you sure?" I asked, drawing myself closer to him and his yummy muscles. 

He simply glared in return. 

"Well alright, you asked for it!" I sang out. 

Without warning, I yanked as hard as I could on his precious hair and Lizzie began laughing. "Take us to Caras Galadhon, now!" I said tugging. 

Haldir was beyond angry now. Suddenly his comrades came over and began to tear me off of their leader. 

Ten minutes later... 
    
    I sat tied up in the gloriously strong Elven rope, a lock of silver silky hair still clenched in my fist. Lizzie sat next to me, bound up as well.
    'Dork', I thought. After a few moments of silence, I spoke up. "So..uh...what are we going to do now?"
    Lizzie POV
    I turned back to her.

"Well, you got us here genius. I know you want to get all over him but please wait, until he wants you to!" I was angry at Heather but she was still my friend. A thought suddenly came to me.

'Oooooooooh Galaaaaaaaaaaadrieeeeeeeeeel!!' I thought, hoping that she was listening. 

'Oh, you again. What is it?' She answered.

'Galadriel, Haldir's being a poopy head and he tied us up. That's no way to treat guests. Besides, we know what happens to him. And we could tell him too.' I sat there communicating with her, trying not to laugh because I was thinking of all the things that we could mess up if they weren't nice to us.

'Let's see, Aragorn's a hunk, but he's gotta go. Gandalf was never that cool either. And also there's-'

'Fine! Stupid humans...' She mumbled. 


	5. Chapter 5: Bathroom break

Heather POV

So I had gotten us into this big mess...oopsie poo. Lizzie was busy concentrating on something I don't know what. All I knew was that I wanted to be untied so I could curl up and go to sleep. As all the drama was unfolding, the sky darkened. I sighed, and suddenly the ropes that were cutting off the circulation to my hands came loose and all but fell off of my hands. I looked at Lizzie, who mouthed "Galadriel" silently.

'Oh thank you so much Miss Lady!' I thought gratefully.

'You're welcome,' said a voice in my head.

"Uh...ok." I muttered under my breath.

I took a deep cleansing breath. I really wanted another cigarette ... badly. And darn it! I also had to pee really bad too.

"Haldir!" I shouted.

He came swiftly. "I thought I told you to be silent," he said angrily.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah.... hey, I really have to pee!"

"What?"

"You know, relieve myself."

He rolled his eyes. "Come." he said simply.

I got up, and the ropes fell away from me. I grinned evilly. He looked shocked.

"A little gift from the Lady of Light," Lizzie answered for me.

"I seriously gotta go," I said desperately trying not to pee my pants.

"You can wait," he said stubbornly.

"Oh my Gawd!!!! Heck no, I can't!" I cried. "Lle naa vanima???" (You are beautiful)

He looked at me as if I had grown another head.

"Oh come the heck on!" I said, doing the pee pee dance.

He rolled his eyes and slung me over his shoulder, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" I sing-songed to Lizzie as Haldir took me down from the tree.

We landed on the forest floor and Haldir pointed to a nearby tree where I could "do my business," as he so blandly put it. I ran to the tree and "did my business." Jesus, Mary and Joseph...sweet relief! Luckily I had a tissue in my pocket so I didn't have to be disgusting. Heh. I didn't want to go back quite yet, so I went to another tree and sat down and took my cigarettes out of my pocket. Suddenly it hit me as I lit my cigarette; I was never going home again. Who would feed Smeagol the cat? What about mid- terms? What about work? *gasp!* What about the new Friends? Oh my God...so the next thing I did is what any normal young woman would do given the circumstances...I cried. 

Haldir POV   
By Eru she was taking forever, this Isilwen. I highly doubted it was her real name. As I was pondering her and her equally strange friend, I smelled it. The vile smoke she had created earlier. I went over to investigate, not caring whether she was decent or not. I stopped short when I saw her. The moonlight filtered through the leaves giving her a glow. The vile smoke came from her right hand, her left was covering her eyes...and she was crying! Oh no! It took a five minute conscience struggle before I approached her.

"What's the matter with you?" I asked in a businesslike tone.

"What's it to you? No, no, wait I know! Be silent!" she answered crudely, mocking me.

I suppressed a biting comment, "You're crying," I said, matter-of- factly.

"Uh...yeah! Way to go! You're a bright one!"

"Why?" I pressed, growing more irritated.

"I can never go home again."

I didn't know what to say, and for a moment I felt sorry for her....a little bit. 

"We're going back now," I said.

She rolled her eyes and blew smoke in my face. "Fine, whatever, let's go."

By the time we had returned, my brother Orophin told me that the Lady Galadriel wanted us to come home now, and with the two young women. How she knew everything was still a mystery to me and I had been in her service for over two thousand years.

I approached the two, "Well Isilwen and Celemir, get your things together. We're taking you to Caras Galadhon." 

Lizzie POV  
  
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Heather said to me as Haldir carried her away.

I laughed because I knew that Heather probably loved the position that she was in.

"Such as?" I said to thin air... that was filled with the hot elf from before. I turned my head sideways while I stared at him. He oddly reminded me of Haldir.

"Master Elf, come here." He came over and sat down.

"What is your name." I said.

"Rumil, my lady. I am Haldir's brother."

"Well, I'm impressed. You seem much nicer than him. Why is he like that anyway?" I waited to hear some answer like "been like that a lot" or "bad childhood".

"Oh that? Heh... Orophin and I put tacks in his bed before we found Lady Isilwen and you, Lady Celemir."

Haldir came back up the tree. Orophin informed him that Galadriel wanted to see us.  
Heather sat down next to me with a cigarette in her hand. I grabbed it and put it out with a glare.

"What?" she asked innocently, shrugging as if she were a complete angel. Yeah right.

"Well Isilwen and Celemir, get your things together. We're taking you to Caras Galadhon."

"Whoopdeedoo." I said. "What things?"

Heather POV  
"Whoopdeedoo," said Lizzie, "what things?"

I picked up my bag happily and whispered to my friend, "He has got the muscles of a god!"  
We giggled and then I realized something. It was nighttime, I had wanted a bed so I could sleep.

"Oh Haldir!!!" I said in my usual annoying singsong.

He turned to me, a bored _expression on his face. "What?" he asked rather impatiently.

"Uh, dude, it's nighttime...that means Heather go nite nite."

"Heather?"  
Uh oh. Busted. Shoot! I thought fast....I began to freak out.

Then I stopped and smiled. "Heather is the girl who lives in my head."

He rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, nighttime, bed, sleep, me, Celemir, you get bed, we sleep, comprende gringo?"

He growled at me... oooh nice kitty...mrrrowww.

"Fine, but we leave at first light."

"Whatever dude," I said, "You got a blanket or something? It's kinda drafty up here. Oh and uh, one for my friend too! Yeah, like now please. "

Haldir, Rumil, and Orophin gave us their cloaks before doing their weird trance sleep thingy. Lizzie and I made ourselves comfortable, using my bag for a pillow. I looked at her and wrapped myself in Haldir's cloak. It smelled like leather, outside, and yummy Haldir.

"Nightie night, don't let the bed bugs bite!" I exclaimed happily before rolling over and crying myself to sleep. 


	6. Chapter 6: How to woo an elf, or try to

Heather POV  
  
I was having such good dreams. Dreaming about cheesecake, Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, and pina coladas on the beach. *sigh* All of the sudden I was roughly pulled from the beauty of my subconscious by a hard nudge on the shoulder.

"Go 'way Smeagol. Mommy needs her sleep," I mumbled.

"We must leave now, get up!" came a harsh male voice.

"Smeagol?" I was suddenly confused, my cat was a girl and certainly did not talk back to me.

There was silence so I drifted back to my dreams, "Ah Captain Jack, where were we?" I said in my dreams, unknowingly mumbling out loud.

"Neveth? Get up!" Lizzie was speaking to me, through Jack! It was the weirdest thing.

"Ilesselya Nevethiriel! Esselya Christianne Annelaure!" I mumbled in Elvish.

Suddenly two hands clamped down on my shoulder and jerked me awake, "Oh Jack! Are you still mad about the cheesecake? I ate it all..." I don't wake up too well.

"Wake up!" that harshly cold male voice yelled in my face.

My chocolate eyes flew open to hard metal eyes glaring at me. "Holy shit!" I exclaimed, my voice still filled with sleep.

"Christianne Annelaure?" Haldir demanded, "I knew you were lying about your names!"  
"Wha?" I was still half-asleep.

He shook me hard, ok now I was fully awake.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

He glared icily at me, his grip tightening on my arms. It was beginning to hurt. Then I saw it, the look of killing in his eyes. I was scared.

"Um, help psycho Elf on the loose here!" Lizzie yelled.

Another Elf pulled Haldir off of me and said something terse in Elvish. I still did not know what the hell was going on. Yet another nameless Elf, came to me and knelt down and gently placed his arms on my shoulders.

"Are you all right?" he asked. I looked up into a pair of the bluest eyes I had ever seen. Oh my Gawd! It was a blue-eyed Haldir!

"F-f-fine. Haldir??" I stuttered, then I looked to my left, no, there was Insane Haldir still struggling in that other Elf's grip.

My blue eyed Elf looked at me and laughed, "No, I am called Orophin, I am Haldir's brother, and that one over there restraining Haldir is my other brother Rumil."

Realization hit me. Ahhhh ok.

He looked at me again, concern clouding his pretty blue eyes, "You are not called Isilwen are you?" he asked gently.

I looked at my hands, "Please don't tell anyone," I whispered.

He smiled at me and nodded, and I felt my knees turn to jelly. He helped me up and took his cloak and draped it over my shoulders, as the morning was a little too cool for my tastes.

"Come now we must leave, Rumil, Haldir!" he called out.

We descended from the flet and dropped down onto the forest floor. Orophin offered to carry my bag, while Rumil gave Lizzie a piggy-back ride. Haldir kept shooting murderous looks at me, so every now and again I would snuggle closer to Orophin, who seemed a great deal nicer and was also as cute as the mean Elf Haldir.  
  
An hour later.  
  
"I'm hungry," I whined, knowing it would irritate the hell out of Haldir.

"Me too," Lizzie piped up.

So we stopped. Orophin handed me a small wafer to eat. Uh what? I thought. I had the appetite of seventy men! Then I realized, so this is what Lembas bread really is!

"Lembas?" I asked looking up sweetly at Orophin.

He gave me a brilliant smile, "Yes." I took a bite, expecting to feel satisfied. Oh Gawd, those damn fangirls were wrong about Lembas too! It sucked! Man oh Man, I wanted some bacon, eggs, chicken biscuit, something right about then. Oh and coffee! Sweet coffee! Even some Darjeeling tea would have been good too! I ate that whole damn cracker of lembas and was still starving.

"Hungry?" Orophin asked me.

I smiled weakly in reply.

I looked over at Lizzie who had a smiling and joking Rumil give her pieces of Lembas, I laughed. My eyes fell on Haldir. He was brooding. Good, I didn't care, I had the nicer upgrade of Haldir 3.0. Orophin, yeah sure his name was a little strange, oh but he was so attractive and so very nice.

Five minutes later, Haldir informed us, rather meanly that we had to continue on.  
So we did.  
  
Haldir POV  
  
I knew it! I knew they were lying! Well, when the Lady sees them she will judge them, I know it! And Orophin! I can't believe it! She's eating out of the palm of his hand! He's not even twice the Elf I am! What on Middle Earth could she see in him?! Better yet what could he possibly want from her! She is crude, loud, mean, manipulative, and of Man! She's of Man, he is Elf-kind! Look at her looking at him with those wide brown eyes, why doesn't she look at me that way? 

And her hair. The color of dead mallorn leaves. Well no, it has bronze and sunkissed overtones. Look at her tossing her hair, her eyes sparkling with delight of one of Rumil's halfwitted jokes. Oh Elbereth! Am I falling for this mortal woman?

Heather POV

Oh my Gawd! I have never walked so much in my life! Treadmills are one thing, and so is The Loop at the University, but hills? Rocks? Trees? Uh...no thank you! I fished my water bottle out of my bag and stopped,

"I'm not going any further till we've had a break!" I declared, plopping down onto the nearest fallen log.

Haldir looked annoyed. Oh yeah I forgot, Elves don't get tired. Orophin sat next to me in agreement. I smiled prettily at him. Take that Haldir! Have I mentioned that I've had the biggest crush on Haldir since watching the Fellowship of the Ring? Yummay! I handed Orophin his cloak and watched Rumil give Lizzie a shoulder rub. Haldir stood there impatiently. 

"Yo, Haldir!"

He gave me a silent glare in reply. 

"Are we there yet?"

No reply. 

Rumil spoke up then, "We are about a half a day's walk from the City. We should be there by nightfall."

I groaned inwardly, "Oh my Gawd!!!! A whole day's worth of walking in this stupid forest?" I thought out loud.

Everybody stared at me.

I laughed shakily and smiled sheepishly.

"Shall we?"

An hour later...

Walk, walk, walk, I thought, Left, left, left, right, left... I hate this! I freakin' hate this! I screamed silently. 

We were all silent and it was killing me...killing me softly, I sang in my head and chuckled sardonically.

Orophin looked at me and smiled, "What is going on in your head, lirimaer?" (lovely one)

At the word, "lirimaer" Haldir jerked his head up and glared in our direction. Gee whiz, someone needed to get a grip.

I smiled flirtatiously, "Wouldn't you like to know?" I asked teasingly.

Walk, walk, walk, I kept thinking and the silence was KILLING ME! I'm one of those people who jam everywhere, car, apartment, work, wherever... Now then, I thought to myself, What would be a good song to sing while walking? Think, think, think...ooop no walk, think, walk. Then it came to me...

I straightened my J-Lo sunglasses and let my hair down...Middle Earth was boring, but I was not about to let boredom win! I took off my jacket and stuffed it in my bag. So there I was in my black and pink yoga pants, matching pink and black sports bra tank top (should I mention I am wearing the skin tight work out clothes...oh yeah I am, what is the big deal anyway), and my black yoga shoes with my tattoos exposed. My translated Elvish name in script on the small of my back and "independence" written in Japanese on my shoulder blade, and my name in Korean wrapped around the top of my right arm. I've never seen quite a reaction from anyone; the Elves and Lizzie looked at me like I had dropped in from planet Mars. And so I just grinned...whoa was that Haldir staring at me like I was Grade A top choice? Oooh this could get interesting. Walk, walk, walk. Be cool. Heart thudding in chest...cannot be good. Dirty thoughts...definitely not good either! Oh Haldir, why do you have to be so pretty?! I screamed in my head.

Should I mention that I am one of those people, usually typed as the "insane friend who will do anything you ask her to." I am very loud, crude, and I do anything for kicks. So what I was about to do wasn't going to embarrass me, because simply, I don't care what others think of me, even Haldir, oh Great Crush God of my life who wasn't real until now. So I started my song and dance and walk routine. 

"And you can dance  
For inspiration  
Come on  
I'm waiting (glances at Orophin)  
  
Get into the groove  
Boy you've got to prove  
Your love to me, yeah  
Get up on your feet, yeah  
Step to the beat  
Boy what will it be  
  
Music can be such a revelation  
Dancing around you feel the sweet sensation  
We might be lovers if the rhythm's right (winks at Rumil)  
I hope this feeling never ends tonight  
  
Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free  
At night I lock the doors, where no one else can see  
I'm tired of dancing here all by myself  
Tonight I wanna dance with someone else (gives Lizzie playful wink)

Get into the groove  
Boy you've got to prove  
Your love to me, yeah  
Get up on your feet, yeah  
Step to the beat  
Boy what will it be

(Dances seductively, you know what I am talking about...Club dancing!)  
  
Gonna get to know you in a special way  
This doesn't happen to me every day  
Don't try to hide it love wears no disguise  
I see the fire burning in your eyes (stares straight at Haldir)

Only when I'm dancing can I feel this free  
At night I lock the doors, where no one else can see  
I'm tired of dancing here all by myself  
Tonight I wanna dance with someone else

(Dances like your insane friend all craaazay like)

Get into the groove  
Boy you've got to prove  
Your love to me, yeah  
Get up on your feet, yeah  
Step to the beat  
Boy what will it be

(Dances up to Haldir who is still trying to walk across the plain of grass we have come across and starts Club Danicing! Woot!)

Live out your fantasy here with me  
Just let the music set you free  
Touch my body, and move in time  
Now I now you're mine  
You've got to

  
Get into the groove  
Boy you've got to prove  
Your love to me, yeah  
Get up on your feet, yeah  
Step to the beat  
Boy what will it be

-Get into the Groove, Madonna (1988)

I finished my silence killer and bowed to my audience, minus Haldir, who were applauding me. I so wish I had my guitar, then we would jam! I grinned a big toothy stupid grin and asked in my most innocent voice, "Are we there yet?"


	7. Chapter 7: So happy together

Lizzie POV

I winced after Heather's song and attempt to woo Haldir was over. I gripped Rumil's neck tighter and sighed.

"Are we there yet?" said the human who needed some serious help.

"No and will you please act like a tree and be silent?" Haldir said.

That afternoon, I found a patch of Kingsfoil in some bushes. The scene with Sam and Aragorn shot through my head. I giggled and put it in my pocket.

Heather walked up with her hand rummaging through her purse.

"I have to have a smoke, I've been dying for one all day!" She took one out and I grabbed it from her. I also grabbed the box from her purse and threw both into the nearby river.

"Why'd you do that? You know that-" I cut her off.

"Save it!" I took the Kingsfoil out and put it into her hand. "If you get a craving for a cigarette, chew on some of this." She was still looking at the river.

"But what about my cigarettes?"

"Forget them. Middle-Earth hasn't invented drugs yet. You can't change their evolution." I walked off and Rumil found me.

"Would you like a shoulder rub, or a foot massage?" I laughed.

"I'm afraid not. Why don't you go have some "me" time." He looked at me strangely but kissed my hand and left. I sat down and softly sang a song that I had thought of when I first met Haldir. It fit him and Heather.

"Imagine me and you, I do  
I think about you day and night, it's only right  
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight  
So happy together  
  
If I should call you up, invest a dime  
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind  
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine  
So happy together  
  
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
For all my life  
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
For all my life  
  
Me and you and you and me  
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be  
The only one for me is you, and you for me  
So happy together  
  
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
For all my life  
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
For all my life  
  
Me and you and you and me  
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be  
The only one for me is you, and you for me  
So happy together  
  
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba  
Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba  
  
Me and you and you and me  
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be  
The only one for me is you, and you for me  
So happy together  
  
So happy together  
How is the weather  
So happy together  
We're happy together  
So happy together  
Happy together  
So happy together  
So happy together (ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba)"

(Happy Together; Artist: Simple Plan)

I ended the song, laughing.

Heather POV

We set off again twenty minutes later. I was so tired, and all I wanted to do was go home, my real home in Regular Earth. I wondered if my cat was ok, I wondered what grade I had gotten on my critical essay of "Germinal" by Emilie Zola. 

I walked in silence, unusual for me. Haldir kept shooting me what I called the-be-silent-puny-mortal look. The others just kept on walking. I hate Middle Earth, I thought angrily. I just want to go the heck home.

Three hours later, we finally reached the outskirts of the city of Caras Galadhon. We entered the gate of the city and man alive, it was more beautiful than anything Peter Jackson could have created. Haldir and his brothers immediately took us to the "palace-talan thingy" where we would find the Lord and Lady of Lothlorien forest.

I felt sick. Would we become slaves to the Elves? Oh God, I hope not, I thought, wondering what it would be like to wash the Lorien brothers' laundry. Yuck.

We climbed this huge staircase...ugh, stairs. I hated stairs, especially the stairmaster at the gym. I tell ya, it could work the ghetto booty off of any girl! I'm getting off subject. We finally reached the throne room or whatever the heck they called it of the Lord and Lady.

'Oh great,' I thought, 'a life time of servitude here I come, and I almost hold a bachelor's degree. Won't Mommy be proud?'

Haldir and his brothers kept to the entrance of the room and the Lord and Lady descended from their thrones. Wow, powerful stuff. They were ethereal, fairy-like...beautiful.

The Lady Galadriel spoke first, "Elizabeth and Heather," she said slowly, "Welcome to Caras Galadhon. (pause) You are probably wondering why you have been sent here."

'That's the understatement of the century,' I thought sarcastically.

She smiled and looked at me, "Ah, Heather. You hide your true feelings behind a mask of sarcasm and carelessness."

I just stared like an idiot.

"I am not clear yet as to why you two were sent here. But you were, and as of now, I do not know of any way to send you back from whence you came. But you may remain here with us in Lothlorien until your heart desires something else, or you may travel to Gondor and see Denethor, the Steward. What path will you choose?"

Lizzie spoke first, "I choose to stay in Lorien."

"And you, Heather?" Galadriel prodded.

"Well I can't go home. So I choose to stay in Lorien as well," I said bitterly.

"We have no empty talans right now, but Elizabeth, you will stay with Rumil and Orophin," then she looked at me, and my heart clenched in horror, "And you Heather, you will stay with Haldir."

I turned around to face Haldir, and his face was white with frustration and outright anger at the Lady's decision. I smiled sweetly and looked at the Lord and Lady, "Thank you so much for your hospitality. And thank you for letting me room with Haldir, he's been nothing but pure sugary nice to us since we got here."

After we left the Lord and Lady, Lizzie and I said goodbye for the moment and went with our respective guardians. I picked up my heavy bag and followed Haldir who was walking at a very fast pace. 

"Hey roomie! Wait up!" I called to him.

He stopped and waited for me to huff and puff my way to his fine self. 

"You know, I am not an Elf, so I do get tired. Will you please carry my bag?"

He simply glared at me, "You lied to me."

"What?" I asked innocently, "You would have killed me had I told you the truth."

"I want to kill you right now."

"You're insane, you know that?"

"Me? I am not insane! You! You are the one who is insane with all of your singing and all of your strange talk! You aren't even from Middle Earth!"

"You think I want to be stuck here?! I had a life where I come from! I had my own place, I was in school for Heaven sakes! How would you like to be dropped into my world with nothing save a few items?!" I was yelling now.

"You still lied to me!" he snapped.

"You want the truth?"

"Of course!"

"Fine, here's the Godforsaken truth about me! I'm twenty-one years old, I speak three languages, my name is Heather, I'm Catholic, I live in Alabama, United States of America, I have a cat named Smeagol, and a car named Rosalita! I love Thai food, and my weaknesses are drinking, smoking, and JRR Tolkien!" I screamed.

He said nothing, just looked shocked.

"And," I continued, "I probably know more of your stupid Elvish history that you do!"

"You know nothing of Elves," he said coldly.

"I know enough that I saved your pathetic self back there. I know, Marchwarden, that you would have been severely reprimanded for your actions when you first met us. But I saved your booty, whether you like to admit it or not, you owe me."

"I owe you nothing," he said icily.

"Fine," I said, "Not only will I tell Galadriel of your actions, but I will also tell her you refused to house me." 

"You would do no such thing."

"Oh ho! Wouldn't I?" I laughed.

He picked up my bag, "Come on, let's go."

I smiled triumphantly and followed him to his talan.

"Whoa, nice place there roomie," I said sarcastically when we reached his talan. 

He glared at me. 

It was a big four room treehouse, as much as I can compare to. Private bathing quarters, a bedroom, a kitchen (as far as I could guess), and a main common room. Sparsely furnished too. I ran to the bedroom and threw my stuff on the floor and jumped on the bed. "Niiiice!"

He glared, "You will sleep on the floor."

"Yeah, right. I have back problems, I have to sleep on a bed. Oooh we can share!!!" I smiled crazily.

He said nothing and went to the weapons cabinet in the room and put his weapons away, lovingly. Touching them as a man touches a woman. Softly, gently, carefully.

"Dude, you seriously need a woman."

"What do you know of such matters."

"More than you think," I said absently, digging through my bag, pulling out my change of clothes. Jeans, belt, socks, panties, bra, shirt, shoes, I went through my checklist mentally.

I started to change my clothes unconsciously, smelling my clothes, reminded of home. I pulled off my sports bra tank before I realized I was not alone. Haldir of Lorien was staring at me, I was naked from the waist up. 

"Oh dear Lord!" I gasped, clutching my shirt to my chest.

He stared at me wide eyed, a faint blush creeping up his face to the tips of his pointed ears.

I turned around, "So, what do you want me to do for you while I live here?" Oh, that sounded so bad.

He cleared his throat, "You are free to do what you want, Lady Heather." He had turned back to his weapons cabinet.

"So what is there to do here in Lothlorien?" I asked, dressing quickly.

He shut the door to the cabinet. "What do you like to do?" he asked.

I pulled on my shoes, "Lots of things."

"Like what?" he asked impatiently.

"You can turn around now," I said flopping back on the bed, "I don't know, I like to write, I like to drive around town blaring my music, you can sit with me you know."

He walked over to his wardrobe on the other side of the room, and I turned away.

"So what do you like to do, Marchwarden?" I asked, flipping through my Vogue magazine.

I heard him changing into clean clothes. "Long walks under the mallorn trees and candlelit dinners." He said sarcastically. 

I laughed, "Oh Haldir, I never knew you could be such a smart guy."

He said nothing in return, but I knew he was smiling.

"Come," he said in his regular Haldir tone, "You must be hungry, and I don't feel like making anything."

"I can cook!" I boasted, one of my few domestic talents.

"If you ability to cook is anything like your manners, then I fear you would poison me, now come, we are meeting Rumil and Orophin at the dining halls."

I laughed, "Oh boy, Haldir, you and me are gonna have some good times," I said following him out the door.


	8. Chapter 8: An elf on a bed

Lizzie POV

We arrived in Lorien and went to a parley with Galadriel. She welcomed us and as I suspected, talked to our minds.

'Is Legolas coming?' I asked her.

'Be quiet, I'm talking.'

'Aragorn.' I knew she would give.

'Yes, he is.'

'Can you tell him about me? Make him like me?'

'I can't- you... and... AUGH!!! Fine, I'll send a scout to tell him about you.' I smiled.

'Please and thank you!' She grumbled inwardly and walked away. Then I realized that she had been saying something that involved me.

"Come on, Lady Celemir." Rumil and Orophin took my arms and led me to their talon.

"Are you used to sleeping on a grass mattress? We have goose feather ones." Orophin said, whilst grabbing some extra pillows. He led me to their bedroom and Rumil was pushing their two beds together for one big one.

"I hope that you will be comfortable, Lady Celemir."

"Oh, please. Call me Lizzie, or Lady Lizzie." I looked at the bed and shivered. "Where are you two sleeping?" Please don't say on the bed.

"Oh the floor in the doorway, so that we may protect you if need be." I laughed inwardly.

"Good night, Lady Lizzie." They laid down on their cots and went to sleep.

'If only Haldir was like that.' I laughed and flopped down on the bed.

I woke up the next morning to Rumil and Orophin, of all things, watching me sleep from the doorway. Boys!

"Good morning my kinsmen." They laughed... although, I'm sure that they didn't know what that means.

"How ghastly one feels after sleeping in one's clothes." I quoted The Silver Chair and thanked God that I had it and the other Narnia books in my bag.

Breakfast was interesting. Of course, what happened before then was even better. I followed my Elvish men to Haldir's talan and was greeted by the sounds of someone being tickled.

'Oh boy.' I rolled my eyes, thinking up all sorts of bad stuff that was happening in the bedroom. We found Haldir on top of Heather, tickling her and holding her hands above her head. I stifled a scream and resisted wanting to rip him off of her. Instead, I laughed. I didn't hear anything that Rumil, Orophin, Heather or Haldir said. I didn't laugh out loud so I bit my hand and banged my head in the doorway to try not to. Then I heard the name "Legolas" and perked right up.

Haldir POV

I stayed outside and talked to Orophin as I watched Heather go inside my talan. The situation from earlier with her state of undress still plagued me. Lust had flowed through my veins all through dinner, I felt myself begin to fall for her. I was calmer now. After saying good night to my brother, I went inside and was stunned. It was so quiet.

I walked into my bedroom and stripped down to my under leggings. I pulled the blankets back from my bed and lay down. Something was amiss, the blankets, the bed, for that matter was warm. I froze. There she was, sleeping peacefully in MY bed! I thought I had told her to sleep on the floor. I guess it didn't matter. Then I looked at what she was wearing. Her shirt and some really short short pants. I wanted her right then too. I yanked the covers over to my side and thought about Orcs, goblins, and Rumil's hairy back (shudder). She then reached out and hit me, before yanking all the covers back for herself. I turned so that I was facing away from her. But I could still hear her soft breathing and smell her flowery scent. It was exotic, I'd never smelled anything like that before. I had trouble sleeping that night. 

I had slept a dreamless sleep. I woke up the next morning and found a naked from the waist up Haldir doing his sleep trance thingy next to me. Oh my dream of dreams was coming true!

The blankets came up to his waist and he looked so peaceful. Not at all like the jerk I first met when I was deposited here. His physique looked like it had been carved from marble. Like a statue from the Renaissance. I peeked under the covers to make sure...to make sure he was decent. Of course he was, he was wearing something that looked like boxers, but they weren't. It's hard to explain so I won't explain the concept of Elvish underpants. 

Out of curiosity, I reached over and touched his arms, they were so sculpted...oh God he was HOT! I squeezed it and almost fainted. His skin was so smooth and warm, the muscles underneath in contrast were hard and yummy.

And that's when he woke up. "What are you doing?" he asked blearily.

I smiled sheepishly.

"Good morning to you too!" I said chirpily.

He just looked at me.

"And just what are you doing in this bed, Haldir?" I asked him teasingly.

"It's my bed, Lady Heather."

"Oh stop with the formalities. We ARE sharing a bed now."

He blushed.

I rolled over facing him, only a few inches away from yummy Elf muscles. I propped my head up, resting on my elbow.

"So, what are we doing today?"

He turned his head towards me, "We?"

I rolled my eyes, "Remember? Lady G. gave you a mini vacation since I have to live with you. What is your problem anyway? Why do you hate me so much?"

"I don't hate you."

"Ok, why do you harbor such a dislike for me?"

"I don't."

"Then why are you so mean to me?"

"Because you pulled a chunk of my hair out, you're loud and obnoxious, and you've the manners of an Orc."

"Ouch," I said, offended. I paused, "But you do have to admit, I am pretty."

He looked at me incredulously.

I scooted closer, "Are you sure you don't like me?" I purred.

He rolled his eyes, "Of course I like you."

"I don't think you mean that."

He growled. 

"Meow to you too, Mister."

"Why are you so irritating?" he asked.

"I wasn't aware that I was irritating."

"You are."

"You have pretty hair," I said, changing the subject, touching a strand.

He looked at me dubiously, "What?"

"You have really pretty hair," I repeated. I sighed, "I wished I had pretty hair."

"You do."

"You think so? I've always wanted blonde hair."

"You are very strange, you know that?"

"So people tell me."

He rolled over so that we were facing each other, inches apart.

"So are you really unhappy here?" he asked suddenly.

"Well, this is only my third day here. I don't know. I already miss my life."

"Do you think you could be happy here?"

"I don't know," I admitted sincerely, "do you think you can be nicer?"

He smiled, "I could try."

I smiled too, "And I guess I could try to be happy here." I can't believe it! I am actually falling for Haldir of Lorien! Like for real!

"Are you ticklish?" I asked suddenly, feeling impish.

"What? I don't know."

I said nothing, but got that mischievous glint in my eye. He looked a little concerned.

"Why?" he questioned.

I waited a nanosecond before pouncing him and tickling him. His eyes widened as he began to laugh. His laugh was deep and genuine and so infectious.

"Ha ha! Haldir of Lorien! I have bested you!" I said triumphantly, sitting on top of him, with one leg on either side.

And that's when it happened, Haldir, the Marchwarden stinky guy, began to play. He reached up and tickled me, despite my futile attempts to block his hands. We wrestled in a fit of giggles and he managed to pin me down, "Ah ha, Lady of Lorien, it seems that I, Haldir have bested you!" he said, his voice low and husky.

The giggles subsided, and I looked into his eyes. Was he going to kiss me? Oh God I hope so! And then the worst thing in the world happened. Stupid friends J.

"Haldir! Come on get up! The Company from Mirkwood and Gondor are coming today..." It was Rumil. And then they were all there, Rumil, Orophin, and Lizzie. Their eyes all wide with shock. The serious Marchwarden and the silly girl from nowhere caught in a compromising position. We froze, our eyes locked together behind a curtain of his silver-blonde hair. The covers were strewn everywhere, his hands pinning my wrists over my head, our lack of clothing. My heart was pounding hard in my chest, and I was breathing hard.

Orophin was the first to begin laughing, and then the rest of the three began to laugh. Hidden behind his hair, our eyes still locked together, I smiled at him and he winked at me. He then let me up. 

I stood up, fixing my disheveled hair into a ponytail. "So, uh good morning everyone," I said, blushing, "What's the plan for today?"

Rumil spoke up in a fit of laughter, "Well, today, sister dear, the Company from Mirkwood is coming to Lorien on diplomatic visit. Prince Legolas shall be coming!" he said. Sister? Oh, this will be interesting.

At that, I saw Lizzie's eyes lit up. I smiled.

I picked up my jeans off of the floor, and began to put them on. Orophin spoke then, "Lady Heather, we have a dress for you to wear today," he said, "A gift from the Lady of Light." He handed me a wrapped parcel. I opened it and the dress it contained was beautiful. It was a pale silver blue dress, the color of Arctic Ice. It was very plain in decoration, a typical day dress, but so much more than my formal gowns at home, including the Dior hanging in my closet that cost more than my car. That had been a gift from an ex-boyfriend with too much money. I marveled at the workmanship of the wonderful dress. I wanted to put it on right then and there, but I came back to reality and noticed the three were still standing in the doorway. 

"You three can leave us now," said Haldir in his regular Haldir-the-dork tone, "We will see you in the dining halls shortly."

The three exchanged glances and began laughing as they left. So that left Haldir and I. Me with my pants unbuttoned, the beautiful dress in my hands and Haldir, standing in his warrior stance in his underwear no less with his arms crossed, staring at the doorway. 

"So," I said uncertainly, "Where can I get a bath around here?"


	9. Chapter 9: Breakfast

Lizzie POV

I left Heather to her new dress and discovered that I had one too! Mine was ivory with flowing sleeves of a darker shade, an over-skirt lined with lace and a small train. I squealed and put it on in the talan. Breakfast was fruit, lembas, bread, and milk. Heather made a face at the lembas but I ate some. I finished eating before everyone so I sat at the table waiting. "Are you ill?" Rumil asked me. I shook my head no but didn't say the truth. My dress neckline was low and it was making me uncomfortable. But the rest of the dress was fine. I noticed the little half looks that I was getting from all the men elves and smirked. 'Just wait until Legolas gets here!' Oh yah! 

Heather POV

About an hour after Lizzie and the Lorien brothers left Haldir's talan, I was ready to go. The dress fit snugly like a glove. It was a day dress, as I have already told you. It had a scooped neckline (almost off the shoulder!), bell sleeves underlaid in shiny silk. It was empire waisted with a long skirt and no train. It was so pretty! I stuck my yoga shoes on underneath and pulled my hair back into a messy bun. Haldir came out of his bedroom dressed in grey leggings, a black undertunic, and a grey over tunic. He looked yum! 

I grabbed my sunglasses as we strode out the door and to the dining halls. 

He looked at me, "You look nice," he said gruffly. 

I smiled sunnily, "I know." 

He scowled playfully, "I should teach you how the Elves braid their hair," he said looking at my messy do. 

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever." 

We entered the dining halls and sat at the table where the others sat. 

"Finally!" cried Rumil. 

"What was taking you so long?" Orophin asked playfully, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

I grabbed a chunk of bread and threw it at him, "Your brother takes longer than I do!" I said laughing. 

Haldir scowled and we all laughed at him. 

"So what's for breakfast?" I asked, surveying the table. 

"We have lembas, fruit, and water or miruvor," Orophin said, sounding like an infomercial. 

"Oh great, lembas!" I said. 

"You don't like lembas?" Haldir asked. 

"Not exactly," I said, curling my nose in disgust. 

I grabbed an apple and watched Orophin feed Lizzie pieces of lembas. I smiled. 

I munched on my apple and looked around the dining halls. The Elves were laughing and joking, all around having a fabulous time. 

I scowled. I wish I could be happy. I have a test on cognitive development today at 2. Oh wait, no I didn't because I WAS STUCK IN MIDDLE EARTH. 

Rumil looked at me curiously, "What's wrong sister dear?" he asked. 

Wow he was beautiful. I smiled weakly, no use on explaining psychology to Elves. "Nothing, I was just thinking about what we were going to do today." I said easily, falling back into my thoughts. I really wanted to go for a run and go somewhere where I could meditate and practice my Yoga. 

"Excuse me," I said hurriedly, rushing out from the dining halls and back to Haldir's talan. I reached his talan and changed quickly, pulling on my shoes as I half walked, half hopped out the door. I began my run, clearing my head of everything, enjoying the freedom of running like a wild deer. The breeze in my face, the burn in my muscles. Yes this is what I lived for. My breath was ragged, tearing through my lungs. My frustration released in sweat. After about what I could guess was two miles, I slowed down and found a spot among the trees to do my yoga. The fluid motion of the stretches relaxed me and as my heartbeat slowed, I began thinking about my fate here. My deep breathing made things clearer to me. So I was stuck here. Whoopie. And I began to accept my fate. To live among Elves and to always be an outsider. Perhaps I would go to Rohan or Gondor or something. To be among my own kind. But what about Haldir? Lizzie? Rumil? Orophin? I sighed. 

As I was meditating I was unaware of the person who was creeping up behind me. 

"Heather?" said the voice. 

I jumped, and shrieked. 

I opened my eyes to reveal Rumil and Orophin. 

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked breathlessly 

"We were wondering why you left so abruptly," Orophin explained. 

"I just needed to get away and think." 

"We also wanted to let you know that today we are taking you and Lizzie around Caras Galadhon to show you the finer points of the Galadhrim's daily life," Rumil said, smiling. 

My stomach decided to growl at that moment. They laughed and Rumil asked, "Lembas?"


	10. Chapter 10: Legolas

Lizzie POV

I saw Heather leave the dining room in a rush and a few minutes later, Rumil and Orophin followed her. After a few minutes, Haldir approaches me from his seat next to Heather's empty one.

"Lady Lizzie, come with me. I will show you the way we live our lives in Lorien." He held out his hand for me to take.

"Haldir, I will only go with you if we go with your brothers and Heather." He looked at me as if I were stupid.

"Of course we are going with them. That is why they left to get Heather." I blushed and left before him. We met the trio at a bridge. Heather was wearing a skin tight outfit and the brothers were standing a few feet away from her.

"Hey Heather. Nice outfit." I stood next to her and motioned to the elven men and back at her. But she didn't have time to change because Haldir ushered us off. He led us to a large garden first.

"This is where we grow our fruits and vegetables." I looked around at the carefully planted rows and smiled. It really was beautiful. I spotted a flower garden with a gazebo and stream in it behind the garden. I slowly started walking towards it. I love gazebos. I reached the stream first and bent down to look at the little fish in it.

"Fish." I said, then I remembered my own pets. I tossed the thought away and got up to look at the gazebo. I twirled around and walked into it. Running in a circle, I touched all of the benches in it twice.

"You like gazebos?" A voice behind me said. I screamed and turned around to see who had been watching me. "Don't be frightened. My name is Legolas." He put out his hand and I gave him mine but instead of shaking it, he brought it to his mouth and kissed it leaving me frozen in place.

'Wow! He's even cuter than Orlando!' I thought. "My name is Lizzie." I tried to move but my feet were still glued to the floor. 

Heather POV

Oh great, I thought, Lizzie is going to spending the day with his majesty, Prince Legolas. So that left me with the Lorien brothers, aka the Three Stooges. I was hot and sticky and really wanted to take a shower, and Haldir's perverted looks didn't make life any easier. He was just so much better this morning when he wasn't so....what's the word? Statuesque? No. Stoic? Nah. Like a stick had been surgically inserted into his ass? YES! 

So Lizzie was MIA with one hot Elf Prince. Rumil and Orophin started to take stones and skip them into the stream...making outrageous and idiotic bets to see who was the best shot. Haldir stood watching everyone like the Nazi Gestapo. And that left me, hot, sticky, thirsty, in dire need of a shower and some deep personal time. I leaned onto one of the rails on the bridge and let the breeze cool me down. 

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, this is so boring!" I shouted to nobody in particular. Everyone kind of looked at me. I took off my shoes and looked at the stream beneath me. It flowed pretty deep. Was this the Anduin River? Only one way to find out. 

"What are you doing?" asked Rumil as he watched me climb to the top of the rail. 

"I, fair Elf man, am going swimming," I grinned cheekily, "You coming?" 

Rumil and Orophin had their boots off in an instant and plunged into the river ahead of me. I looked over my shoulder at Haldir, "You coming, Haldy-Poo?" I asked sweetly. 

He rolled his eyes. 

"Ok then, have fun being all by yourself!" I looked down and found that my two new best friends were a few yards downstream, "Hey you guuuys! Attendez pour moi! Idiotes!" I cried half in French. I dived in to join my friends. When I resurfaced, I heard a big splash behind me, it was Haldir! 

"Come on Haldy Poo! Let's get 'em!" I laughed and then took off swimming towards Rumil and Orophin.

Lizzie POV

"Oh Lord." I said after I watched the four jump into the water. Legolas gave be a sideways glance and laughed at me.

"Would you like to join them, Lady Lizzie?" I grabbed onto the bridge that we were standing on.

"Oh no. I can't swim." He smiled and inched closer to me. 

"I can't either, but I would try to for you." He gave me the cutest look ever and handed me a blue flower. With the biggest smile ever on my face, I looked down at the stream, hiding it from him. Unfortunately, the stream was so clear, that he saw it anyway. He smiled big too and reached out to brush my hand with his finger. I blushed and turned sideways so that my back was to him. 

"Are you alright?" He said, placing his hand on my arm. 

"Yes, it's just... I've never had anyone talk to me like that before."

"Then all the other boys must be blind." I could tell from his voice that he wanted to kiss me. I wanted him to, but I had never been kissed before. A shower of drops of water hit us from the stream in front of us. The two elven brothers were in the water looking at us, smirking. "And what are you two doing?" Rumil said, jokingly. "Hey Legolas! Cut to the chase and kiss her already!" They swam off leaving us to laugh at them. 


	11. Chapter 11: Swimming

Heather POV

After the brothers had swam away from the Prince and his blushing lady who were almost about to kiss...

'Yeah good going, Rumil,' I thought, smiling. Then all of the sudden, there was a wall of water coming my way. "Yaaaaa!" I shrieked, sheilding myself from the huge wave of water. That big splash had me ending up underwater with water up my nose, I resurfaced and sputtered water everywhere, "Rumil! I'm sooo going to get you!" I yelled. 

"Get me what?" came Rumil's faroff voice. 

I opened my eyes, and it wasn't one of the prankster brothers in front of me, it was Haldir. 

"Haldir?" I gasped in surprise. 

He grinned arrogantly at me, taking in my disheveled, soaked appearance. 

Orophin swam up, "So what was that about?" he asked, looking at us. 

I looked coyly to Orophin, "Dearest, it seems your darling brother here has thought it would be great fun to nearly drown me," I said sweetly, a glint in my eye. Orophin and I exchanged mischevous glances and Haldir was positively white. I jumped on Orophin's shoulders and there I sat, perfectly balanced, and we headed for our target, my beloved Haldir.

Lizzie POV

On the bridge, I spotted Haldir splash my best friend and almost drown her. I shrieked and ran over to the side of the water. I hesitated at the edge so I sat down and slid into the water. It wasn't deep so I quickly walked over to where Haldir was. Heather was tackling him in the water and Rumil and Orophin were laughing at them. I heard a splash behind me and felt Legolas's arm on my waist. I smiled and turned to him. "Let's go kick some elven booty!" He looked confused. "What?" "Um, let's just get Haldir for almost drowning Heather." 

Heather POV

As Orophin and I assailed Haldir with our all out water assault, Legolas and Lizzie came to our aid. Lizzie couldn't swim so she was atop Legolas's shoulders. 

"Ha ha! Marchwarden, you will rue the day you decided to mess with the Great Orophin and Heather!" I yelled, splashing more water on the Elf I so dearly hated...and loved. However there was one factor that we failed to consider, Rumil. 

Rumil, seeing as how he loved to torment me, came at us from behind, knocking me off Orophin's shoulders and into Haldir's arms. I stopped then, only for a moment, and looked up, his steely gray eyes were smiling at me, I grinned cheekily and moved back. Right before I could get a good wall of water going his way, he was one step ahead and knocked me over with a huge splash. Legolas and Lizzie had moved behind him and began sending mass amounts of water his way. 

"I shall have you all exiled for mutiny!" he cried, assailed by all of us. 

"You cannot exile a Prince!" Legolas cried, laughing. 

I climbed on top of Rumil's shoulders and cried, "Behold, 'tis I, the new Marchwarden of Lothlorien, Heather the Great!" 

"All hail the new Marchwarden!" Orophin cried, lowering into a mock bow, and was echoed by everyone except Haldir. 

I laughed, and looked at Haldir, who was obviously up to something, yet I didn't know what quite yet. The next thing I knew, Rumil threw me off of his shoulders into the water, laughing. 

Haldir came over and faced me, "You know what this means, a duel to the death!" he said dramatically, trying not to laugh. 

The others circled us, with Lizzie still atop Legolas's shoulders. Haldir and I grinned at each other, trying so hard not to burst out into laughter. 

"A staring contest, til the death!" cried Lizzie. 

So Haldir and I faced off, we were directly across from each other, treading water. I felt his gaze boring into mine, and I focused on his eyebrows. After five minutes of heavy silence, I sighed. 

"Screw this," I said, laughing, sending a huge wall of water his way. 

He growled and began to chase me. 

"Ahhh! Rumil, Orophin, Lizzie, Legolaaaaass!" I cried, trying to get away from the gaining Elf. 

All I got in return was a lot of laughter as Haldir got closer. Swimming furiously, I felt his iron grip clamp down on me, pulling me into a backward bear hug. I was out of breath from laughing so hard. 

"Lle yava? (do you yield?)" he growled in my ear. 

"No!" I cried, breathlessly. 

He began tickling me, and I could hear the others far off entering into Water War 2, Lizzie's shrieks of laughter and Rumil's shouts were very distant. How far did I swim? 

I struggled out of his grip and faced him. He pulled me closer, tickling again. 

"Lle yava?" he asked, a smile gracing his ethereal features. 

"No!" I laughed. 

He stopped tickling and pulled me even closer, and before I could blink, his lips were on mine, in a heart-stopping, melt your knees kiss. It was such a wonderful kiss and I didn't know how describe it except as "heavenly." He pulled away gently and asked again, "Now do you yield?" his voice was soft. 

I looked at him, my eyes wide, and said the first thing that came to mind, "Yes."


	12. Chapter 12: A close call

Author's note: If you see any bad words in the entire story that slipped my proofing, please inform me.

Lizzie POV

I watch Haldir chase Heather further down stream and almost went after them but a big splash from Rumil changed my mind.

"Rumil, stop it!" The water was deeper here and Legolas was up to his shoulders in it. He was 6 feet tall and I didn't want to see how I would hold up in this water. Orophin sensed my discomfort so he swam behind Rumil and dunked him.

"Do it again! Do it again!" I said, laughing. Rumil heard that comment unfortunately and came up behind Legolas. He quickly pushed Legolas over, and he lost his grip on me. I sunk to the bottom of the river with Legolas's name on my lips. I still had air but not enough. I had my eyes shut tightly and I prayed to God to save me. I felt strong arms grab me and pull me to the surface.

"Lizzie! Are you okay?" Legolas dragged me onto the shore and laid me on my stomach. I coughed and water left my mouth. "Are you okay?" He said again. I looked up at him.

"Legolas. You saved me." I grabbed him and held him close to me. "Thank you." I whispered into his ear. 

Heather POV

The sounds of shouting broke through the "after-kiss" moment with Haldir. I strained my hearing to hear the words, but Mr. Perfect Elven Hearing Haldir heard every word, and said one word, "Lizzie." I took of swimming in the other direction towards my friends. I reached them and saw that Lizzie was coughing up water, Legolas leaning over her. Orophin was, I think it was, cussing Rumil out. I clamored onto shore, "What happened?" I demanded. 

"Rumil thought it would be great fun to push Lizzie into the water," Legolas said, grimacing. 

I looked sharply to the sheepish Elf who was getting an earful from his brother. "Rumil! You stupid git! You know Lizzie cannot swim!" I yelled, splashing through the shallows in rampage to the Elf. "Je vais tu tuer, idiote!" (I'm going to kill you, idiot) I screamed rushing the Elf, but before I could land one of my raised fists, arms pulled me back. It was Haldir, "Daro!" he shouted. 

I was almost foaming at the mouth to kill the Elf who almost killed my best friend. 

"Tu! Tu es irresponsable! stupide! Merde de tete, stupide!" I ranted in French, like I do when I'm extremely pissed off. 

I turned to Lizzie, "Are you ok?"

Lizzie POV 

After the water fight, we all left to find some drier clothes and some food. My dress stuck to me, making it miserable and hard to walk in. Legolas insisted in escorting me back to the brothers' talan so I could change my clothes. We walked along the path in silence, his hand in mine. The very contact of our fingers was enough to make my heart skip a beat. 

"How long will you be in Lothlorien?" I asked him, breaking the graceful silence between us. 

He looked down at me, his blue eyes gazing into mine. They were bluer than the clearest sky. And his gaze made a faint blush come and tinge my cheeks. "I am not sure," he replied thoughtfully, "How long are you going to be here?" 

I looked down at my shoes, "I'm not actually sure, maybe one more day, maybe forever," I said quietly. 

"Forever is a long time," he said, lifting my chin so that my eyes met his. It was only then that I noticed we had stopped walking. 

I had no words at the moment, my heart was pounding so hard in my chest, that I was half-expecting it to leap out of my chest. I opened my mouth to say something and nothing came out. Then, as if it were a heavenly wish come true granted by my fairy godmother, the space between us disappeared as his lips touched mine. His kiss was soft and gentle, and his embrace around my shoulders, as light as a feather. He pulled back and smiled at me. My knees felt wobbly, my lips still felt the warmth of his, my heart could have very well been stopped. I took a shaky breath and touched my lips, where his had been only a moment before. His arms still rested on my shoulders and we exchanged so much with our eyes, without ever saying a word. 

"T-thank you," I whispered, immediately wondering why I said that. Do you thank people for giving you their first kiss? 

He smiled, his eyes twinkling with something akin to...love? 

"You're welcome, Lizzie," he said, his voice low as if he were telling me a secret. 

We continued along the path, hand in hand, my lips still feeling the electricity of my first kiss.

Heather POV

After our return to the city, I found out that Haldir was going to be in council with Celeborn, Galadriel, Thranduil, Legolas, and some noblewoman from Gondor, Lindelea. Out of sight, out of mind, I thought to myself. Besides, Orophin is looking really hot today. Yeah right, I chastised, he may be hot, but he's not Haldir. 

I took another bath before rejoining my friends, I redressed in the pretty gown and met them at Rumil and Orophin's talan. 

To tell the truth, I was sort of bored in Lothlorien. Yeah we were going out to see it today, but I wanted to visit all the other wonderful places in Middle Earth. Especially Imladris. Yeah I know, I'm impatient. I picked a pretty star flower on the way to meet the others and tucked it behind my ear, my hair was flowing free. Well, I thought, let's see about this Caras Galadhon, there's gotta be something going on around here.

Lizzie POV

After Legolas took me to my talan, he waited outside the bedroom while I put on my new gown that Galadriel had sent over.

"Oh, isn't it divine?" I said, not remembering that he couldn't see it. I heard him grunt. It was a deep red dress with a dipping neckline just hinting at my cleavage. The belled sleeves devoured my arms and my fingers just peeked out. The length brushed the floor but showed the slightest hint of my shoes. I bound my hair in the traditional Elven style and brushed all the tangles out of its wavy length.

Slowly, I stepped out of the room, hardly breathing for his approval. He turned slowly and his eyes studied my whole length.

"You look ... beautiful." My eyes were fixed on my shoes.

"Thank you." I smiled and clasped my hands behind my back. He walked closer to me and I could hear his breath above me. I lifted my head slowly, savoring the look of his blue tunic, until I met his eyes.

"You're even better than the pictures." I said, not even realizing what I was saying.

"What do you mean?"

"Um, I mean... Haldir's brilliant descriptions." He laughed and brushed my nose with his own.

"Shouldn't we go to the dance?" He smiled and put his lips on mine, wrapping his arms around me. A throat clearing itself stopped us and we turned to see Haldir and Heather staring at us.


	13. Chapter 13: The start of a dance

My After the water wars, Haldir and I walked back to his talan to change for the Festival that night. He was very distant and quiet, though we had kissed only moments before. I saw Rumil and Orophin as they were walking to their talan and called out to them, and as I did, Haldir mysteriously disappeared. They escorted me the rest of the way to Haldir's and I went inside. I saw a beautiful merlot colored dress on the bed, meant for me. I took a bath in his bathing quarters and ended up smelling like his manly man soap, so I took my perfume out of my bag and hosed myself down in Victoria's Secret Number 88. I braided my hair as I had seen Galadriel and the other Lorien maidens do. Then came the dress. I slipped it on. The neckline was shoulder to shoulder plunging V line embroidered with shining silver and cream threads. Empire waisted, the bodice hugged my athletic curves and the skirt pooled at my feet. The sleeves were fitted to the elbow and tied off with silver and cream colored ribbons where then they flared out and were underlaid with a shining silvery cream chiffon material. I had never felt so beautiful in my life. I applied my makeup, making my eyes smoky and my lips into a glossed pout. As I was walking out of the bedroom, I ran smack into Haldir who was dressed very sexily in a more formal version of his warden's uniform. "Haldir!" I gasped, almost losing my balance.

He reached out and steadied me, "Heather, lirimaer, lle naa vanima," he said, sucking in his breath. I looked up to him and hoped we would kiss again, but alas, it was not to be.

"Thank you," I said, taking his proffered arm. His arm was stiff and tense, as was his gait. Did he regret our kiss? I don't know if he did, but I didn't. Infact, I felt myself falling madly in love with him. 

We walked in complete silence to his brothers' talan where we were going to meet Legolas and Lizzie. As we opened the door an unexpected sight greeted us. Legolas and Lizzie locked in an intimate embrace. Haldir cleared his throat as I suppressed a giggle. 

Legolas and Lizzie jumped apart. "Are you ready?" asked Haldir.

"Of course," Legolas replied, a faint blush creeping to the tips of his pointed ears. 

We left then and walked to the Festival. Haldir was so withdrawn, I felt like it was just another guy escorting me somewhere. But he wasn't another guy. He made my heart leap into my throat when he smiled at me, and my knees go weak whenever he said my name.

When we got there, Legolas and Lizzie vanished onto the dance floor and Haldir disappeared as well. So there I was, left completely alone. Haldir had left so quickly, you'd have thought I carried the plague. I sighed and leaned up against a malloryn tree, crossing my arms. And then I saw him, with HER, that vile Lady from Gondor, Lindy Poo or whatever the hell her name was. I searched desperately for a friendly face; Rumil and Orophin were nowhere to be found and I felt like a little brown field mouse among the golden glory of the Elves. Tears of self-pity stung at my eyes, threatening to blur my makeup in an instant.

"Mae govannen, fair maiden," came a smooth and silky voice. 

I looked up and the sight that greeted my eyes was amazing. It was an Elf, a male Elf to be exact. He was tall with broad muscular shoulders and square jaw. An Adonis, if you will. He was hot!

"Hi," I said, stupidly, knowing that if he smiled, I would melt into a puddle of goo.

"So, what is an angel like you doing here all alone? Perhaps the Valar have sent me an angel, or maybe this is a heavenly dream," he said. Suddenly I forgot all about Haldir and that stupid lady and my self-pity as I looked into this god's deep blue gray eyes. Wow, I thought. I could fall in love with him. I blushed at the thought.

I smiled sexily, "Well, if the Valar had sent me then wouldn't I know your name?" I purred.

"My name is Kurien," he said, smiling at me. I was right, I could feel myself turning into goo.

"Then maybe I am your angel, sent by the Valar, Kurien," I let his name linger on my lips like a fine wine. 

"If you are an angel, then I am a Balrog," came a voice from behind, shattering the perfection of our flirtation

My smile turned into a scowl as I faced the owner of the voice. It was Orophin.

Kurien lost the smile in his eyes, but kept it on his perfect lips as he said, "Orophin."

Orophin had the look of killing on his face, "Kurien," he said as if the name left a bad taste on his tongue. 

"Heather, I need to speak to you," Orophin's words were harsh.

Kurien put a hand on my shoulder, and my skin tingled at his touch. "I'm in the middle of something, Orophin," I said, angry at everyone.

"It's a private matter, and it is urgent," Orophin's tone was deadly.

"Go on, lirimaer," Kurien said, withdrawing his hand, "but do not tarry long." He smiled at me again.

My heart leaped, "Of course not. If you will excuse me," I said, as Orophin yanked me away.

When we were far enough away, I yanked my arm from his grasp, "What are you doing?!" I demanded.

"What are you doing?" he countered.

"I was talking to Kurien."

"I know. Kurien hates Haldir. What about Haldir?"

"What about Haldir? What about Haldir?! Haldir left me alone the very moment we got here, as if I had leprosy! And now he's over there," I pointed the direction for emphasis, "talking about God only knows what. Hmm, maybe they'll end up married! And you! You weren't even here either!" I was mad.

Orophin put his hands on my shoulders to pacify me, "I am sorry mellon nin, I meant no offense."

I collapsed into Orophin's arms, "Oh Orophin, it just makes me so mad, because, because…" I shut up.

"Because what?" he prodded.

"Because I am in love with your stupid brother!" I said, exasperated.

Orophin was speechless. "I see," he said.

"So what is it that you so desperately needed?" I asked impatiently, hands on my hips.

"The Lady Galadriel requested you play her a song."


	14. Chapter 14: Singing till your sore

Lizzie POV 

After Heather and Haldir found us, we walked to the dance room. Half of it was outside but one curved wall was made of stone. The floor was marble and the whole place reminded me of the throne room. Legolas took my hand and guided me to the dance floor.

"I've never danced before. But it's something that I've always wanted to do." I admitted, sheepishly.

"Then I'll teach you, because I've always wanted to dance with a woman as pretty as you." He smiled and started dancing. After a few minutes, a blonde elf with a dark shirt approached us.

"May I cut in?" He said, oh so graciously.

"No, you may not. I get all the dances." Legolas said as the elf sauntered off.

"That was rude."

"Oh, and you would rather dance with him?" He said, playfully.

"I didn't say that." He touched my nose with his and leaned in for a kiss, but he failed to notice Rumil and Orophin approaching us as well. They were dancing with each other and as soon as we saw them, they started mimicking us.

"Oh, Legolas my dear! You look so handsome!"

"Oh you're too kind! Only, would you please stop standing on my feet?"

"I'm not my darling, but I'll help ease the pain! Kiss me, my Elven prince!" They puckered up their lips and turned to face us.

"Lizzie, remind me again who is older over here?"

"Oh, Legolas, we'd better get Haldir because I think that these babies need a diaper change." The two danced away in the tango position, leaving us laughing.

Heather POV

I walked up to the Lady and bowed, she nodded and pointed to a stool with a guitar leaning up against it. Lord Celeborn stood up and announced, "The Lady has requested that Heather play a song tonight." He wasn't much with announcements I don't guess.

I tuned the instrument so it sounded like my acoustic guitar back home and began to sing.

God, I feel like hell tonight  
Tears of rage I cannot fight  
I'd be the last to help you understand  
Are you strong enough to be my man?  
  
Nothing's true and nothing's right  
So let me be alone tonight  
Cause you can't change the way I am  
Are you strong enough to be my man?  
  
Lie to me  
I promise I'll believe  
Lie to me  
But please don't leave  
  
I have a face I cannot show  
I make the rules up as I go  
It's try and love me if you can  
Are you strong enough to be my man?  
  
When I've shown you that I just don't care  
When I'm throwing punches in the air  
When I'm broken down and I can't stand  
Will you be man enough to be my man?  
  
Lie to me  
I promise I'll believe  
Lie to me  
But please don't leave

I looked at Haldir as I finished the song and he looked at me guiltily. Wonder what he had to be guilty about. 

"Encore!" cried Lizzie.

"You want another?" I asked, laughing.

A chorus of Elvish and English "Yes!" resounded so I played another.

Something is happening  
Everything's different but everything is fine  
This is the good stuff  
Yesterday's only what you leave behind  
It's only in your mind  
  
You gotta talk to the One who made you  
Talk to the One who understands  
Talk to the One who gave you  
All the light in your eyes  
All the light in your eyes  
  
No use pretending  
You never existed until you saw the light  
You're just beginning  
You have the mistakes all ahead of you  
And you know what to do  
  
You gotta talk to the One who made you  
Talk to the One who understands  
Talk to the One who gave you  
All the light in your eyes  
All the light in your eyes  
  
Here comes the world and she is beautifully mysterious  
She's got it all and you say "Give it to me"  
  
Nobody's happy  
That's not the world I know inside  
Where everybody hides  
  
You gotta talk to the One who made you  
Talk to the One who understands  
Talk to the One who gave you  
All the light in your eyes  
All the light in your eyes  
  
You gotta talk to the One who loves you  
Talk to the One who understands  
Talk to the One who gave you  
All the light in your eyes  
All the light in your eyes  
  
Yeah, thank you thank you!  
Yeah, everything great and small  
Yeah, thank you thank you  
For the light in your eyes  
For the light in your eyes  
  
Yeah, thank you thank you!  
Yeah, everything great and small  
Yeah, thank you thank you  
For the light in your eyes  
For the light in your eyes

After I finished the song, I saw Haldir and Lindy Poo disappear. I was stopped for dances by Kurien and Celeborn and almost forgot about Haldir until Orophin asked me for a dance. Then I remembered and made a mental note to go find out what in Mordor was going on.

I found them kissing on the bridge where Haldir and I had kissed under only a few moments before, and I didn't want to let them see how much it hurt. So I said, "Well, well, well, what in Mordor do we have here? The Marchwarden and the Gondorian whore." My voice was harsh and choking.

"Lady Heather," Haldir said, obviously off-guard.

"Marchwarden, what a compromising situation you have yourself in," I said icily.

"Haldir, come on love I want to show you---"

"Something he has obviously seen before, no doubt. I just came to let you know that the Lady of Light is requesting your presence but I can tell her that you are otherwise engaged…with the whore of Gondor," I said, trying to let myself appear apathetic as I walked away.

"Haldir, did you hear that? That common girl just called me a whore," I heard Lindy say as I stalked off to find me a guitar and a bottle of vodka.

I almost laughed at his response, I think I would have if I wasn't so hurt, "You cannot help what you are."

I found my guitar and rushed off to the river to play my heart out. I reached the banks of the Anduin, far away from where I was previously, I stopped. I leaned against a tree, sniffling in my tears. Sliding down into a sitting position, I cradled my lute/guitar and cried. A good cry can do wonders. I picked up my guitar and began a song I had written a long time ago after my ex had dumped me for another. Strumming a few chords to get it right and wiping away tears in the process, I began my song in my sob choked voice and closed my eyes.

I would have given you all of my heart  
But there's someone who's torn it apart  
And he's taken just all that I had  
But if you want I'll try to love again  
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

(I rocked my head in time to the imaginary drums)  
  
The first cut is the deepest  
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest  
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed  
When it come to loving me he's worst 

(wiping tears away and trying to smile)  
  
I still want you by my side  
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried  
And I'm sure going to give you a try  
And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy)  
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

  
The first cut is the deepest  
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest  
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed  
When it come to loving me he's worst

  
I still want you by my side  
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried  
But I'm sure gonna give you a try  
'Cause if you want I'll try to love again (try to love again)  
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

(I was so into the song, that I didn't notice Orophin and Rumil's audience. And I found out later Haldir was in a tree nearby, watching…listening. And he says he was feeling stupid. Yeah well being drunk makes you stupid)

  
The first cut is the deepest  
Baby I know, the first cut is the deepest  
When it come to being lucky he's cursed  
When it come to loving me Haldir is the worst   
The first cut is the deepest baby i know  
The first cut is the deepest try to love again...

I didn't want to open my eyes, I didn't want to do anything but drown my sorrows in music and vodka. I sighed, and opened my eyes and let out a startled scream of bloody murder. The two Elves jumped back, their hands over their ears. "Rumil! Orophin! Oh my Gawd! You guys! What the hell are you doing, sneaking up on someone like that? Jesus Christ almighty!"

The two Elves who had become my best friends looked at me sheepishly.

"That was a very sad song," Orophin said, sadly.

"What happened? Why did you rush off like that?" Rumil asked, concernedly.

"I…" I broke off into sobs.

They both comforted me. When I had calmed down a bit, I said, "You know how like Haldir and I almost kissed right? Well I thought he really liked me, y'know? Like really liked me. I almost fell in love with him! Orophin, you said he had it bad for me, and…and Rumil you said he talked nonstop about me for like the last three weeks! What is with your brother?" I ranted.

The looked at me, not sure what to say. "And c'mon! Lindelea?! With her oh so perfect blonde hair and green eyes, and the personality of a thumb tack? Oh my Gawd! She's sooooo boring! And so friggin mean to boot! What a bitch! You know what? Screw your brother, he can just piss off, go to hell, peace out, goodbye, I don't care! I'm glad! I'm so fucking glad he found another trick to play with! I'm glad I didn't let myself fall in love with him, and-and get married and-and make little peredhels!" I was on a roll, and on the verge of hyperventilation. Tears were running down my face, and my face was as red as my dress. I started to shake. But I didn't care. 

"And you know what else? I HATE HIM! I truly hate him, I'd rather marry an Orc than ever ever ever be with him! I-I-I can't breathe!" I started hyperventilating violently and fell to my knees. 

Rumil and Orophin knelt down beside me, the world became fuzzy, and my hearing started to wane. "Lady Heather?" I heard before I passed out. 

I woke a few moments later to find him kneeling over me, my eyes widened. "You piece of—"

"Lady Heather, please listen," he began.

"So now I'm just 'Lady Heather' to you, Marchwarden?" I asked coldly, still shaking from anger.

He sighed, "Please just listen."

"NO!"

"Please, lirimaer---"

"What did you call me? Lirimaer?" I began to cry again. "You stupid stupid Elf! I hate you!" I screamed at him.

He flinched…Oh my Gawd, Haldir of Lorien actually flinched at a female's words. He said nothing, just stood there while I cried.

"So," he said quietly, "is the first cut the deepest?"

"You heard my song?" I demanded harshly.

"You have a beautiful voice," he said, ignoring my question.

I snorted derisively, "Not as good as Miss Perfect Lindy Poo," I said mockingly, my voice harsh, trying to block the sobs that welled up in my throat.

"Heather," he began, "You are so young---"

"She is only two years older than I am, you idiot. And perhaps you did not notice that she is also a mortal," I said icily, he was doing the flamenco on the broken pieces of my heart. I felt myself losing control, and I didn't care.

"What I was about to say is that for one so young, you act like you are my age, which is thousands of years older than you."

I shook in anger, and he tried to place his cloak over my shoulders, "No thank you!" I spat, "I'd rather die than have anything of yours!" He looked taken aback.

I continued on, "You and your little twinkie can go straight to Mordor and burn for all I care." I looked to Orophin sadly, "Will you please escort me back to the festival?" I asked coolly.

"Mellon nin, I don't think---"

"Fine, I see how it is. You're brothers. That's fine, I'm fine, you're fine, we're all just dandy! I'll go myself and procure a bottle of miruvor and have my own party! I knew I should have gone to Gondor when I had the chance! I should have just stayed with my own kind! Because yeah, you know, as mortals, you know, we care about our own and even those who aren't our own," I looked at Haldir. "Elves," I laughed harshly, "Elves care nothing for the world of Men! Maybe I should have just went to Mordor!" I laughed hysterically. I stalked off, leaving my guitar, screw it I thought.


	15. Chapter 15: Putting it right again

Lizzie POV

"Where's Heather off to in a hurry?" Legolas asked after Heather had finished her wonderful songs.

"I don't know. I hope that she is okay." I started to go after her but Rumil stopped me.

"Lady Lizzie, please, allow us. Lady Galadriel wishes for you to sing also." He smiled and left with Orophin.

"But-" I started to say but was cut off by Galadriel in my thoughts.

'Get over here and sing to us. You owe me big.' I smirked and turned around.

"Well, Galadriel. What would you like me to sing?"

"Anything, just don't make it morbid." I smiled and stood up in front of the crowd.

The sky above the roof is calm and sweet:

A tree above the roof Bends in the heat.

A bell from out the blue Drowsily rings:

A bird from out the blue Plaintively sings.

A God! A life is here, Simple and fair,

Murmurs of strife are here Lost in the air.

Why dost thou weep, O heart, poured out in tears?

What hast thou done, O heart, With thy spent years?

The audience applauded with Legolas leading them. I searched the crowd, looking for Heather. Legolas joined me on the platform.

"Heather's gone again. I wanted her to hear me." He held my waist.

"I'm sure that she's fine. Sing again, maybe she will hear." I sighed and started, savoring the feeling of Legolas hugging me from behind.

If I never knew you, if I never felt this love  
I would have no inkling of how precious life can be  
And if I never held you, I would never have a clue  
How at last I find in you, the missing part of me.  
  
In this world so full of fear, full of rage and lies  
I can see the truth so clear, in your eyes, so dry your eyes  
And I'm so grateful to you, I'd have lived my whole life through  
Lost forever, if I never knew you.  
  
If I never knew you, I'd be safe but half as real  
Never knowing I could feel a love so strong and true  
I'm so grateful to you, I'd have lived my whole life through  
Lost forever, if I never knew you.  
  
I thought our love would be so beautiful  
Somehow we make the whole world bright  
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong  
All they leave were these whispers in the night  
But still my heart is saying we were right.  
  
If I never knew you  
If I never knew this love  
I'd have no inkling of how precious life can be  
I thought our love would be so beautiful  
Somehow we make the world bright  
I thought our love would be so beautiful  
We'd turn the darkness into light  
And still my heart is saying we were right.  
  
We were right  
And if I never knew you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
Empty as the sky  
Never knowing why  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you.  


Heather POV

Once I had made it back to the party, I made off with two bottles of the Elvish wine and went to "our tree" and popped the cork on the first bottle. With the first swig, that's when I let those sobs come out. 

An hour later…

"Go on now go walk out the door  
Just turn around now  
'cause you're not welcome anymore  
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye  
You think I'd crumble  
You think I'd lay down and die  
Oh no, not I  
I will survive  
As long as i know how to love  
I know I will stay alive  
I've got all my life to live  
I've got all my love to give  
And I'll survive  
I will survive…"  
  
I sang loudly and offkey, what did I care? Screw love. I polished off the last bottle and threw it aside. 

"What is the most beautiful girl in Lorien doing out here, unattended?" came a male voice. It was Kurien.

"Hallo Kurien!" I yelled, smiling like an idiot.

"Heather, lirimaer, what are you doing out here?"

"Haldir (hiccup) and his brothers like totally dissed me, so I came out here!" I said ending with a squeak.

"Well let me escort you home?" he asked.

"M'kay," I replied joyously.

He tried to help me up, but I couldn't hold myself up. "Will you carry me, sweet Elf?" I asked giggling.

He smiled, "Of course melamin," he scooped me up gently in his arms.

"Melamin?" I asked.

He laughed, "A term of endearment."

He carried me for a while, "Kurien! Silly goose, you are going the wrong way! My talan is that way!" I drunkenly pointed in the other direction.

He said nothing, but he did set me down in the soft grass. "I love you, Heather." He said huskily.

I looked at him seriously, my eyes wide, "Really?" I almost burst out crying, "I just want someone to love me." I said.

"Well, I love you," he said, looking into my eyes.

And then it happened, we kissed. His kisses were full of passion and heat and I responded eagerly. We kissed and kissed and I felt his hands on me, but I didn't care. He loved me. It was going to be ok! I felt butterflies of anticipation in my stomach. 

And then I felt his weight being shoved off of me, and I heard voices.

"Kurien! What are you doing? She's drunk!"

"He loves me you fool!" I cried out weakly.

"Surely he does not lirimaer," came a familiar voice.

"Haldir did not love me. Kurien loves me!" I cried.

"You heard her! Why don't you go back to the party and leave us?" I heard Kurien say.

Then I heard the sickening sound of fist on flesh, a fight. Then someone picked me up and started carrying me.

"Haldir doesn't love me, all I wanted was for Haldir to love me!" I babbled to the unknown arms that carried me, "Haldir is so wonderful, and Rumil says…" I broke into tears.

"Shhh, melamin. It's ok. Haldir does love you, very much."

"What about Lindy Poo?" I wailed.

"Shh, she's not important, nothing is important except that Haldir does love you and only you."

I felt myself being lowered onto a bed of grass, and my carrier next to me, wrapping a cloak around us. It smelled familiar. And just before I fell into slumber, a voice whispered, "I love you, Heather," and then he kissed me on my forehead and I fell into dreams.


	16. Chapter 16: Singing and a question

Legolas POV

I watched Lizzie as she was singing per the lady's request. She was definitely sweeter, younger, and more innocent than her friend with all of the weird habits like her smoking, excessive drinking (Just where was she going with those two bottles of miruvor?), and her body art, which I still didn't understand; Elvish letters in the most unacceptable places! 

I watched the younger girl on stage, her green eyes were shining and her hair fell in glorious waves down her back. I narrowed my eyes; I wanted to know more about her, where she came from, what she liked, and where in Middle-Earth she had met that racuous girl. Speaking of which, that was another thing that bothered me. They were human, and it is obvious that Lothlorien's March Warden was falling for her friend, though I'm not sure as to why. He hadn't taken a lover in over two hundred years. And of course that elleth was mad at him for something. 'Man enough to be my man'? I felt sorry for him; I had a feeling that one was a pistol. 

Me, I never cared for the elleths that my father was always trying to marry me off to. Especially that horrid Lindelea of Gondor who kept trying to bed me the entire journey here from father's palace in Mirkwood. 

But this elleth, this human girl, she intrigued me more than anyone ever had. She was amazing. Lizzie, Princess of Mirkwood, I tested it out in my head and found I rather liked it. She had the naivete of a young elleth, and her eyes sparkled with innocence. I knew that I was going to be the first to kiss her, and it made my heart leap with anticipation. She had finished her song, her voice clear like the song of the Anduin on a cold morning; I applauded the loudest and gave her a brilliant smile as she walked towards me and into my embrace.

Lizzie POV 

After my song was over, I left the stage in a hurry. Something was wrong with Heather, I knew it. Legolas hurried after me. I stopped when the bridge came into sight. Haldir and Heather were standing there with the Elvish disaster not fit to be called a person. I could hear Legolas behind me breathing. 

"Maybe we should go somewhere else," he said. I nodded. I followed him to the gazebo where we had first met. He sat down with a smile and fixed his eyes on the floor. 

"The water is so beautiful at night," I said, as I walked to one of the gazebo's windows and looked out at the sparkling water. 

"It compliments you." I heard him get up and come behind me. He put his hands on my waist and I sprang back before I could control my reflexes. He apologized before I could explain.

"I am sorry. I am too forward." He looked at the floor again. 

"No, don't be sorry. That was just a reflex. I didn't know that you would do that." He looked back up at me and made my knees almost give way. 

"I am not very good at this, Lizzie. So I will come right out and say what's on my mind." He took my hand, sat down and motioned for me to do the same. I was glad for the bench because I couldn't have held myself up any longer. 

"Lizzie," he started, then he reached up to cup my cheek in his hand. "Will you marry me?" My mouth opened slightly and I put my hand over his. "I love you, Lizzie. Please, answer me." I stared into his eyes, even though I already knew my answer. His eyes were filled with hopefullness and love for me. With a quick movement, I planted my lips on his and felt what was in his eyes on his lips. He moaned a little and put his arms around me. 

'Hmm, for a guy who's not good at this, he sure does kiss good.' I smiled into his mouth as he continued to kiss me. He pulled away for a second. 

"Is that a yes?" I laughed and kissed him again. Ooh, it feels good to be loved. 

Heather POV

After a long and dreamless sleep, I woke up. I was very comfortable, and curled up to a large pillow, and the blankets were so warm. I tentatively opened my eyes, and that's when I almost died. I was curled up to Haldir! The man, no Elf- ah whatever, who had broken my heart the night before. 

My eyes opened to small slits, I saw he was looking down upon me, "Haldir?" I croaked, my mouth dry. 

"Good morning lirimaer," he said softly, sadness in his steel gray eyes. 

"Wha-what are you doing in my talan? In my bed?" the tears from the previous night returned. 

"We are not in your talan, nor your bed," he said, brushing the hair from my eyes. 

"What happened last night?" I said, sitting up. Ooh bad idea, headache, and lights too bright...hangover! I looked down to make sure my clothes were intact, and indeed they were; he hadn't touched me. 

I flopped back down, feeling extremely sick. 

"Nothing happened that way, if that is what you are asking," he said quietly. 

"Ohhhh, I feeel so sick," I mumbled. 

He chuckled softly, "You drank two bottles of miruvor; more than I've ever seen any other Elf consume" 

"You think it's soooo funny don't you?" I snapped, still angry about last night. 

He became serious, "Not at all," he replied. 

Then it came, the feeling I was dreading the most. "You didn't by chance hear my ranting last night, did you?" I asked referring to my declaration of love of Haldir. 

He shook his head, "What do you mean?" 

"Never mind," I replied. 

I rolled over with my back to him, "Why, Haldir? Why were you with Lady Lindelea?" 

He was silent for a moment before he replied, "I don't know. I had too much to drink, but I'm sorry, melamin," I could hear the tears in his voice. 

Tears ran from my eyes as I replayed that scene over and over in my head. 

"Ok," I said, my voice choked with tears. 

Silence. 

"Amin mela lle, Heather," he said softly. 

I rolled over to face him and he put his arm around me. I looked up at him, his gray eyes watery with unshed tears. And it was there that I found the truth. 

"Amin mela lle, Haldir," I whispered softly before our lips met in a sweet kiss.


	17. Chapter 17: A long night

Lizzie POV

The next morning, I woke up in the brother's talen happy and refreshed. I smiled at the still bodies on the floor in front of me. Looking over them, I saw Legolas smiling in the doorway. I gasped and pulled the blankets over my chest. I never sleep naked, but that night I had slept in my underwear. 

"What are you doing here? I'm not decent!" He smiled again, not answering. I felt like tackling him for watching me and he knew it. "Stop looking at me like that. I'm not getting out of bed until you leave." He gave me a pouty look but stayed in the doorway. I looked down at the sheet. My hair was a mess and I was still tired. 

"Lizzie, how would you like to get married today." I almost laughed but stopped when I saw his face. 

"But we just- we-" I whined a little. 

"What is wrong?" 

"Well, where I come from, a couple is usually engaged for a long time." 

"I do not want to wait a long time for you. I love you." He started walking towards the bed. I held my hand up. 

"Woah! Stop! I don't like having men in my room." He looked down at the floor where the elves were and then looked back up at me. I laughed. "They don't count." He backed up out of the doorway. 

"If it makes you feel better, I will not enter your bedroom until we are married." He left the doorway but came back one second later. "But hurry up!" 

Haldir POV

'My sweet Heather. Why does she have to be so stubborn? I liked her better when she was drunk last night.' I looked down at Heather. She was walking silently next to me. 'Should I tell her what we- No. I shouldn't. She will not want to know. Yet.'


	18. Chapter 18: An Elvish fight

Heather POV (Written by Heather and Elizabeth)

Five days later, I found myself beseeched by a giddy Lizzie. 

"What's up with you, girlie?"

"Not much." 

"Ok, so why are you acting like you've been on a caffeine high for the last five days?"

"Oh, no reason.." She scratched her cheek with her left hand, decorated with a golden band.

I stopped in my tracks, "Whaaat? Where did you get that?"

She looked down at it where it rested on her knee and then slyly looked back up at Heather.

"Uh-uh!" I said disbelieving. "Did uh, good ol' Leggy give that to you?" I asked, trying to hide my smile.

"Uh huh. Last week."

"Hold the phone! Last week?!" I screeched, "And I'm just now finding out? Oh my gosh! Ahhh! This is so great! When are you guys...?"

"It all depends on when his father gets here."

"Can I help plan your wedding, pleassssse?" I begged, so jealous of her.

She laughed. "Of course. You'd beat me up if I said no."

I smirked, "Yeah probably." I paused for a minute, "Say, can you tell me why Haldir the wonderful has been less than wonderful the last couple of days? I mean ever since he said he loved me, he's been so weird. You know what's up?"

She shrugged. "No. He hasn't mentioned anything to me. He's really secretive."

I frowned, "I know that's the problem." I sighed, "What am I gonna do?"

"Why don't you try talking to him."

"Um cause he is never around. And oh my gosh, guess who I saw the other day trying to sink her hooks into my man?"

"Sink her hooks?"

I sighed, rubbing the heels of my hands into my eyes, "Like she was trying to get on him and stuff..."I paused, "I feel so fat today, do I look fat?"

"Not fatter than me." She slapped her stomach, which had always been a little large.

"Oh ha ha," I said sarcastically, "I'm serious, ever since that miruvor binge, I've felt all bloated and fat and stuff."

"Maybe you need to work out more. Alcohol does make you fat."

I looked at her dubiously, "I've ran five miles and did my Yoga stretches everyday since we've got here. And I'm so tired...what is up with this Elvish alcohol? I mean, really, what's in it?" I rolled my eyes, "So when do you want to go to the dressmakers to get fitted and stuff?"

"Dressmakers? Are you kidding? If you want something, you make it!" She laughed.

I laughed nervously, "Yeaaah, ok." I grinned, but that soon turned into a scowl when I saw who was coming up behind Lizzie, "Well, well, well, "I said irritably, "Lindy's on her way here."

"Greeeeeeat. I've had to keep her two feet from Legolas all week."

I grimaced, remembering her disgusting attempts to get Legolas to bed her.

"I'd like to keep her two light years away from here."

"Oh yah." She cut off because the villain in question had just walked up.

"Look who we have here..." Lindy spat nastily.

"What the Middle Earthian slut?" I shot back

"Takes one to know one," Lindy said evilly. Lizzie placed her hand over her left.

"What do you want, Lindy Poo?" I asked boredly, crossing my arms.

"I just came by to see if the rumor was true," she said loftily, looking at Lizzie

I rolled my eyes, "What rumor?"

"That the prince is marrying the whore from---" she stopped mid-sentence when my fist met her jaw.

"Whore?" I said, spitting on her.

Lizzie clapped. "Can I get in on the action as well?"

"Go look in the mirror, if you want to see a whore." I spat on the horrible woman. I looked at Lizzie, "What are you waiting for, doll?"

"I don't hit. Give her one for me."

Lindy staggered back, surprised by my punch. "You want another?" I said, imitating the Matrix and assuming a tai chi pose before beckoning Lindy with my fingers. Lizzie laughed hard at me.

She charged at me, but was met by a swift kick to her ugly face.

"Go Heather! It's your birthday!" Lizzie danced around while she watched.

I felt Lindy grab my hair and knew that it was over for this whorish broad. 

She yanked me back and tried to hit me, but I met her first, (thank you Yoga training) and kicked out of my way, lunging for her and giving her another punch.

By then we had attracted the attention of several Lorien wardens, including the elusive Haldir.

Lizzie whistled low. "Busted."

Unfortunately, the two fighting women didn't notice the circle of Elves beginning to form around them

"I am gonna kill you!" I gasped as she managed to claw my cheek

Lizzie felt like pointing to Lindy and saying, "She started it" but decided against it. She shoved principle away and her fist came in contact with Lindy's stomach.

And as Lizzie punched Lindy, that was about the time Legolas decided to show up.

"Oh dear Prince!" cried the horrible Lindy "Help me! These savage women---"

"Savage? I prefer untamed," I said, putting my hands on my hips.

"How about unlike you?" Lizzie crossed her arms and smirked.

It was about this time when a voice from the crowd shouted, "Daro!"

We stopped and looked it was.... (Continued next millennium celebration! lol)

"Daro!" Galadriel shouted again. "Who started this." Lizzie crossed her arms and pointed her foot in Lindy's direction. (She's not good enough to point at.)

"Oh she so totally did!" I cried pointing at the felon.

"What did she say to make you... hit her?"

I smoothed my hair away from my face in a businesslike manner, "She," I said directly, pointing at Lindy, "Called Lizzie a whore, the Prince's whore to be exact." I glared at her.

"Lindelea, is this true?" She nodded. "Take it back."

"What? I won't-"

"I said, take it back!"

"Haldir?" cried Lindy Poo in an attempt to gather support from those she knew. I held my breath, waiting to see what he would do.

He crossed his arms and looked at her with a stone look. "You heard Lady Galadriel. Take it back."

I let out the breath I was holding, and almost fell over. I had been feeling really weird lately.

"What?!" cried the vile creature "You're siding with the whore and her little friend with the weird body art?"

Legolas stepped up behind Lizzie, as if protecting her.

"If you don't take back everything you said, you will suffer the consequences." Galadriel's face was about to knock over the tree behind Lizzie.

Lindelea scoffed, (a bad thing to do) "I shall not! I shall tell the King of Gondor of this! And you two will be sent to Mordor before it's all over with!" she pointed at us. I was shaking with anger.

Lizzie POV

Legolas held onto me during the whole thing. I felt like punching her again but was a little embarrassed that Legolas had seen me like that. Galadriel almost blew her top at the defiant elf.

"Lindelea, you are in my land and I said take it back. You did not. Now you will suffer the consequences!" And she-

What did Galadriel do to Lindy Poo? Review and give your ideas and I'll pick the best one. The person who writes the best one will get to write the next part of the story! So R&R!!


	19. Chapter 19: Disfigured

Lizzie POV

Legolas held onto me during the whole thing. I felt like punching her again but was a little embarrassed that Legolas had seen me like that. Galadriel almost blew her top at the defiant elf.

"Lindelea, you are in my land and I said take it back. You did not. Now you will suffer the consequences!" And she-

She what? J

Heather POV...

The world almost stopped and turn slowly as all of us remained frozen (see the Matrix trilogy...I'm in a Keanu mood). "...suffer the consequences!" Galadriel's voice echoed off of this weird stand still. And then all of the sudden, things returned to normal. Galadriel grabbed this vile creature by her ugly hair and pulled her close. However, Lindelea thought it would be smart to keep on talking. 

"You can't do this to me!" she shouted, "I will have you all severely punished for this! Especially you!" she said pointing at me. 

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, ok whatever." I muttered under my breath.

Galadriel pulled on Lindy's hair even tighter, "Keep your mouth shut, and maybe I won't send you to Mordor to bind yourself to the Witch King himself!" 

I had to bite the insides of my cheeks to keep from exploding with laughter. 

"You wouldn't!" she challenged, breathless.

I think by then Galadriel had had enough of this little tart's bitching. What happened next, I can only relate to the movie of the first installment of the Lord of the Rings where Frodo offers the one ring to Galadriel. Yeah, she blew up huge and turned all sorts of greens and blues and grays. She cast an Elvish spell on Lindelea, and what happened next was purely poetic justice. Lindelea became really fat and even uglier than before...I think Orcs are prettier than what Galadriel did to her. Yeah, where was I? Yeah so she got really really fat, her precious blond hair darkened to a really ugly green color (think 70s era kitchen appliances), her pretty twinkling blue eyes were clouded over (kinda like what glaucoma does to you), and her annoying singsong voice whittled down into a raspy cackle. Oh God, I almost died laughing.

Celeborn meanwhile was preening himself into his little hand mirror, and after the spell was complete, Galadriel snatched it from him. "Hey!" he cried in protest, but upon laying eyes upon the new Lindy, he recoiled and shuddered, "Ew."

Galadriel thrust the mirror into Lindy's face, "Will you look into the mirror?" she asked tonelessly.

Lindy, hands shaking, took a look and shrieked bloody murder, "What have you done to me?"

Galadriel did not answer her stupid question, "And finally, you shall remain the eternal servant of all the inhabitants of Lothlorien, until you die." 

With that they left the ugly ugly tart by herself in the middle of the group that had assembled. The other Elves started to disperse and I was hoping Haldir would come and talk to me, but of course, being a man, he didn't. As he started to walk away, 'Jerk,' I thought. 

But apparently Galadriel's rage was not all spent, "YOU!" she said in an ominous tone, pointing to Haldir, who was trying to escape. He jerked up and looked at her.

"Yes milady?" he replied timidly.

"You...here...now!" she said, so angry she couldn't speak in straight intelligent English.

Meekly, he came over to her, and everyone else was long gone, save Lizzie, me and Legolas. 

She cut her stormy blue eyes towards me, "I believe Haldir has something to tell you."

I looked at him expectantly, with a little bit of Ms. Thang attitude. What could he possibly want to tell me?

Author: You like? If you don't, then I will go with the becoming their slaves one. (I kind of liked that one better.)


	20. Chapter 20: Unwanted love

[Sorry about the long delay, the girl who won the contest never gave me the next part, so I will write it.]

[Legolas's Bride (Arwen789@aol.com) - Daro means "hold"

Arwen's-Fate - Heather and Lizzie met on the Internet, role-playing]

Lizzie POV

I watched Haldir walk to Heather and turned away. Legolas was right behind me.

"You hit her. I did not know that you would do such a thing."

"She insulted you and Heather." He smiled at me.

"We have been engaged for a week, and every day I find something new about you. How long must I wait to have you as my bride?"

"Would you wait forever?" He blinked a few times.

"For you? Yes, I would." I leaned forward and kissed him, passionately.

"Then, we shall be married in two days." I left him and skipped away. I met Orophin in a field of flowers.

"Lady Lizzie, how nice to see you again." He reached out and kissed my hand. My charm bracelet jingled as I pulled it away.

"Orophin." I nodded my head to him and walked on, picking a few flowers as I went. I heard him follow me so I turned to him. "You are persistent. What do you want?" He smiled, picked a small flower and weaved it into the hair above my ear.

"I am curious. Do you love Legolas because of his wealth? Or is it because of his handsome face?"

"I love Legolas because he is kind and gentle. He is unlike any man I have ever met." The wind whipped my hair around as Orophin walked closer to me.

"I love you, Lizzie. Please, don't make the mistake of marrying Legolas when you can be happy with me." He grabbed me and kissed me hard. I felt him being pulled away from me and then I saw Legolas punching him.

"That will teach you to mess with my fiancée." Orophin sank to the ground, clutching his stomach. Legolas turned back to me. "Lizzie, are you alright?" I flew to his embrace.

"Yes, I'm fine. Let's get married as soon as we can so we can avoid this." He laughed and claimed my lips.


	21. Chapter 21: Strange reactions

I looked at Haldir expectantly, "Yes, Marchwarden?" I kept my tone cool, but inside I was jumping up and down...what in the heck did he want to tell me? 

He looked at me with a sort of guilt in his hard steely gray eyes, "Heather, I-I..." he was having a hard time saying it. 

"You, you what?" I prodded, thinking, 'this better be good.' 

His mouth was open and it looked like he was a fish out of water. Ah, what a sight to behold. Then I started thinking about fish, more particularly tuna fish, and became a little green around the gills, pardon the pun. 

"I, ah, I have to tell you something," he finished lamely. 

"Oh dear Lord, is this going to be an all day production?! I have things to do you know!" I said, irritated and starting to feel quite ill. 

He rolled his eyes, "This isn't easy for me to say," he said. 

'Oh gee whiz,' I thought, 'come on.' And then I kinda started to do the pee pee dance in anticipation.

"What, are you really a woman or something?" I was a little sarcastic, I have to admit; but come on, Mr. King of Cool was acting like a twenty-year-old geek on his first date ever. 

He scowled hard at me, and I gave him a sarcastically fake smile. 

Through clenched teeth, he replied, "No, that's not what I was going to say. If you are so intent on mocking me, then maybe I won't tell you anything." 

"Ok, ok, ok," I relented, my hands up in surrender. 

"Now, this really isn't easy for me to tell you--" 

"But you have six minutes to live," I finished for him. I'm sorry I couldn't help myself. You should have seen the death look on his face. 

He was really upset then, but I didn't care. I felt awful and I wanted everyone else to join in my misery. Know why? Because misery loves company. Man, I wished I had had some Tylenol or something. This whole flu like thing was driving me nuts, plus with all the water I was retaining, I think I made Anna Nicole Smith look like a Gucci runway model. It was kinda like that time of the month with the flu...I felt awful. And now it looked like Haldir felt awful. Good. Stupid man, men don't understand what it's like to be women! *sniff, choke* 

Ok, ok I'm getting off subject again. Anyway, yeah he was totally angry. And by that time, all I wanted was ten pounds of chocolate, all 10 seasons of Friends, and to be laying on a nice bed in a dark room eating my chocolate and watching Friends with the occaisional sip of ginger ale.

"What...do...you...want?" I asked him, as I would ask a petulant five year old child. 

But before he could reply, Rumil came running up, redfaced and excited. 

"You two will never believe what just happened!" he gasped excitedly. 

"Confound it Rumil, can you not see we are in the middle of something?" Haldir exploded at the same time I turned my attention to the other brother asking, "What's up Rumil?" 

Rumil grinned at me, "This is good," he said 

I sighed, what is with the Lorien brothers and taking a millennium to say anything?! What were they like Ents in Elf form? Jesus, Mary and Joseph! 

I looked at him expectantly, and suddenly, by the Grace of God his story came out. 

"The Prince of Mirkwood just beat down Orophin."

And I don't know why, but I started to bawl like a baby. Those two looked at me like I had just lost my mind. I crumpled down to my knees and just began sobbing my heart out. The two brothers exchanged glances and then knelt down on either side of me. 

Haldir rubbed my back and Rumil didn't know what to say. 

"Heather, it's all right, I assure you. Rumil and I beat down Orophin all the time," Haldir said gently. 

And that made me cry harder. "I...don't...know....what's....*hiccup*.....wrong...with-meeeee." I ended in a dramatic sob. 

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you shouldn't beat up people, it's just not...wahhh!" I sobbed hard into Haldir's tunic (which I found out much later was his absolute favorite...something about how the color brought out his eyes or something...pansy). 

Haldir and Rumil looked at me, sobbing my little heart out, and then to each other. 

Then all of the sudden I burst out laughing, just like that. I was an emotional roller coaster. "Ha ha ha, Pansy!" I sobbed laughed out. 

And that made them question my behaviour even more. Those two had the most puzzled looks on their faces I had ever seen and it made me laugh even harder. 

And as soon as my emotional tirade had started it ended. 

"So what?" I said miserably, wishing for Ross, Rachel and the gang and a huge box of Russel Stovers...what was wrong with me? 


	22. Chapter 22: He's Dead Meat!

[Nina, I live in Texas too, but I referring to this winter because it was a little bit warmer than usual. Hee hee. Sorry that I haven't been on this week guys but I was sick. I'm back now though. Enjoy!]

Heather POV

I was so sick...I had never been so sick before in my life. So I decided it was time to go see someone about it, so I went straight to the Lady Galadriel. 

Elvish medicine sort of resembles modern human medicine. The poke, prod, and ask a bunch of questions. However there is one thing that Elvish medicine does, that modern medicine does not...what Galadriel told me made my blood boil and my heart leap into my throat with fear...but what she showed me is how I got so sick in the first place. 

Apparently Haldir the smooth Marchwarden who never makes a mistake has made a huge mistake, and I'm going to kill him. 

Would you like to know what is wrong with me? 

I'm not sick at all, I don't have the flu and I'm not turning bipolar. 

I'm pregnant. 

Yeah that's right pregnant, with _his_ child. 

Would you like to know what Galadriel showed me? 

She restored the memory that was lost in my drunkenness. I had foolishly thought that Haldir did not touch me that night, I was wrong. And I had my memory of that night. No, he didn't take me forcefully, apparently miruvor is a beverage that makes you lust, I had as much as a hand in this problem as Haldir. So why am I going to kill him? Because he didn't tell me anything! And now my dream of being 30 and married when I become pregnant is lost. 

I was very polite with the Lady, but murder was flowing through my veins. As soon as I left her, I went in search of that jerk.

And I found him, joking and laughing it up with his stupid brothers.

I fixed a smile on my face, carefully schooling my features so as to not betray my true feelings. And I walked right over there and sighed dreamily...oh how I wanted to tear his throat out...no, not his throat, his other special place. No, Heather, not yet.

"Good afternoon," I said chirpily.

The three smiled easily at me greeting me in return. 

"I have some big news!" I said, resisting the urge to rip out that shiny silver hair and gouge out those steely gray eyes. 

"What is it, mellon nin?" Orophin asked, and the three were obviously excited.

I let my face retain it's false happiness for a second longer, "Haldir is going to be a father very soon," and with that I let my act drop and pounced on Haldir like a cat on a mouse, screaming things like, "I'm going to kill him!" etc. 

And it was another few moments until I was pried off of Haldir, by six other Elves.

Lizzie POV

Legolas led me to the city again so I could see Heather. We found her fighting with Haldir. I ran to her and with the help of Legolas, Orophin, Rumil and two others, we pried her off of him. She growled and lunged to get at him again.

"Heather, cool it." I carefully avoided Orophin and inspected Haldir's injuries. "Well, you don't look too bad, Haldir. You'll live." I turned back to Heather. "Now, what did he do to make you act like this?"

"That weasel got me pregnant!" My jaw dropped, as did Legolas's. I turned back to Haldir.

"Nah, I take it back. You won't live." I slapped his head from behind. "Because after Heather kills you, I'll kill you too." I turned back to Heather. "Speaking of which, Legolas and I are getting married tomorrow. Everyone is invited, except anyone who would get my best friend pregnant." I glared at Haldir but noticed Heather gulping and walking forward.

"It's not entirely his fault."

"Heather, what do you mean?"

[Yah, I sound like a big meanie but I don't believe in pre-marital sex so I'm really strict about it.]


	23. Chapter 23: Wishes and love

[Okay, I'm such a dork because I had chapter 22 for a few weeks and didn't put it up. Of course, I lost half of my readers when I was sick two weeks ago and that's when Heather and I wrote chapter 22. Anyway, here's chapter 23. And the best thing about it is - beef.... stew. Yep, it's broken.]

Lizzie POV

Later that day, after I had fully digested Heather's story of the effects of elvish wine, I retreated to my new house that Legolas got for me so I wouldn't have to sleep with you-know-who sleeping in my doorway. Of course, there also was the threat of seeing Lindy-Poo in her newfound ugliness, which made me want to vomit. Haldir had a black eye and a sore - place, due to Heather, so he didn't join us for dinner. [Heh, don't blame him.] But before we went to the dining hall, Galadriel stopped me.

"Lizzie, may I have a moment?" I smiled and gave her my attention. "Lizzie, when elves get married, I usually grant the bride a wish. I have given Heather a wish and you shall have one too." She reached into her pocket and brought out a small box. She handed it to me. "Do not open it until you have made your wish, or the wish will be whatever was on your mind when you opened it." I hugged her and she lightly hugged me back.

"Thank you so much!" I ran back to my talan and put the wish on my bureau. I ran my fingers over the top, thinking of a wish that I could make.

"What are you doing?" I jumped out of my skin and turned around. It was Legolas.

"Um, nothing." He walked over to me and picked up the wish. He looked back at me and smiled with his boyish grin.

"Lady Galadriel gave you a wish? What are you going to use it for?" I took it from him and set it back down. I put my arms around his neck.

"I don't really think I need it." He blinked and slid his hands around my waist.

"So you already got what you wanted?"

"Yep." I pecked his lips and snuggled against his neck. I could tell that he was hesitating about something.

"Lizzie, there is something I must talk to you about." A cold fear swept up my spine.

"Okay, shoot." He sat down on my "couch" and clasped his hands together.

"Well, I really don't know how to say this, but, when an elf and a mortal get married, the elf becomes mortal." I looked away. I already knew that, but to hear it from his lips created a new fear. Death.

Heather POV 

I declined to go to dinner after the Lady Galadriel had given me my wish. I was still staying with Haldir in his talan, but I hadn't seen him since I gave him a black eye. As much as I wanted to be, I wasn't sorry about that. I was lying on his bed deep in thought when the outside door opened and closed. 

The next thing I knew, Haldir was perched on the edge of the bed. Goodie. I was so not in the mood to talk to him. 

"So, when is the child due to be born?" he asked. 

Bless him for trying, but I didn't feel like it, so I ignored him. 

"Heather?" he prodded. 

I still ignored him. 

"Blessed Elbereth," he sighed, frustrated, "You cannot ignore me forever. I am the child's father!" 

"My child has no father," I said, my voice as cold as ice. 

"You are being ridiculous," he said, his voice raising. 

"Oh no you did not! I'm being ridiculous? Me?! What about you?!" I was yelling now. 

"Me?! No it's you who is ridiculous! 'My child has no father,'" he mimicked me. 

I was standing now, my shoes in hand, "You think you're soooo hilarious don't you?" 

"Not at all, but I do find it disturbing when the woman who is carrying my child says that there is no father at all!" He yelled back. 

"Ooooh!" I growled in rage, pitching my shoes at him. 

He easily fended my shoes away from him, "See? Ridiculous." 

I could feel my blood pressure rising, because I felt faint, "I hate you!" 

With that, I turned and ran out of the talan. In my haste, I didn't notice the raised threshold and I tripped over it, nearly falling out of the treetops. 

Strong arms reached out and pulled me back into the safety of the walkway. 

"You cannot possibly hate me," a voice murmured into my ear. Of course, it was Haldir. 

"You are infuriating," I said stubbornly. 

"I could say the same for you." He sighed, "Can we talk about this, please?" 

Him and his stupid puppy eyes. "Fine," I relented, still in his grasp. 

We retreated to the bedroom and sat on the bed, and he tried again. 

"When is the child going to be born?" 

"Seven months." 

He nodded. 

"Haldir, is this what you want? To have a child with a woman you barely know and are not married to?" 

"I admit this is not how I wanted to start my family. But sometimes things don't always happen the way we want them to." 

"You know Galadriel gave me a wish. I could change this for us. You could go find another elleth to raise a family with and...and I could go back to my life." 

Haldir shook his head, "that's not what i meant," he said. 

"So you're saying you're happy with this?" I asked incredulously. 

He was silent for a minute, "I'm happy that I'm going to have a family." 

"What happens if you meet the woman of your dreams?" 

He looked at me, "I already have." 

I smiled and looked away. Suddenly, I grabbed his hand. He looked at me quizzically, "Here feel this." I placed his hand on my little bump and looked at him. 

Our eyes met, and we both grinned. Our lips met in a sweet kiss, and I decided then that I was really and truly happy.


	24. Chapter 24: It's not like it seems

[Okay, I have not updated this story in ages. I am sooooooooo sorry. My bad, I'm horrible, I'm not worthy and so on. Please forgive me. I hope my writing isn't stupid anymore. Have fun!

Oh, by the way. I liked some of the stuff that was happening in the uncut version, so I'm going to use a little of it. Not exactly like it, but the same idea. And I'm not trying to be mean to Legolas in this chapter, he's my husband. Grr! My Legolas! And this chapter has one bad word in it, but it's spelled out. I warned you.]

Lizzie POV

The cool summer wind brought me to a small garden next to the swimming creek. I needed some time to figure out what I would use my wish for. Legolas hadn't been pressuring me for anything, but I somehow felt like I was suffocating from all of his attention. I bent down to pick up some heather in the soil beds and twirled it in my fingers. The purple stems caught the summer sun and glimmered.

Movement on the bridge caught my attention. It was Legolas. I weaved a stem of the heather into my hair and waited for him to come to me. But he didn't. I looked up and he was in the arms of another woman. He kissed and caressed her in a way that he never did with me.

Blindly, I ran to the throne room where I knew Heather and Haldir were. I shoved the doors open and tripped in the doorway.

"Lady Lizzie!" Orophin came and helped me up. I almost pushed him away, but didn't really care about hurting Legolas anymore. I leaned against him until we reached Heather.

"Heather, something happened. It's Legolas, he...he..." I couldn't say it.

"He what?" Heather asked.

"He cheated on you?" We turned to Galadriel.

"Yes. He did."

"I would expect nothing less from a prince like him. They never take marriage seriously. Always have some lover waiting for them. Never satisfied with their wife, even if they do love them." She looked lovingly at me and patted my head. "I wouldn't worry about it. You'll find someone else."

"Find someone else?"

The doors burst open and Legolas walked in, minus his lover. He seemed not to have noticed me at the bridge, or the ugly stares from everyone else. "Lizzie, I saw you in the gardens. I was looking for you. Did you not see me?"

"Oh, I saw you. And your elvish s-l-u-t!" I stomped out of the room and Legolas followed me.

"Lizzie! Let me explain!"

"I don't want to talk to you."

"It wasn't what it looked like!"

"I don't care." I turned to face him. "I trusted you, and you let me down. I hate you!" I slapped him and started crying. Heather caught me before I fell and took me back to my talan.

"Calm down, Lizzie. You have every right to be mad."

"I'm never falling in love ever again!"

"I would never hurt you," Orophin said from the doorway.

"Orophin, get out of here!" Heather snapped at him. He left and Galadriel walked into my room.

"Maybe you should talk to Legolas and sort this out," Heather suggested.

"I'm never talking to him again. I don't want to live! I hate it here!"

Galadriel stepped forward. "Now, that's nonsense. You are here for a reason and you have yet to figure it out. Heather has figured out hers, it is only a matter of time before you find yours. Here, this will help you sleep." She gave me a spoon of medicine and I fell asleep and dreamed a night filled with nightmares. [What's in that elvish stuff, anyway?]


	25. Chapter 25: Almost

[Yes, I know. I haven't updated. I'm sorry. Heather has a lot going on in her life so she can't write her parts right now. Oh, and whoever said that I stole this story from Arwenamin didn't do their research. We are CO writing it (that means that both of us are writing it). Heather, if you're mad at me for continuing this story, please say so. I don't want to hurt you. Okay, chapter 25. Oh, and I'm using the word "hoe" instead of "s-l-u-t" because it sounds better.]

Lizzie POV

So, on Heather's side of the world, everything was going smoothly. Haldir asked her to marry him and she accepted. I watched them walk by me from my spot in the gazebo. They were laughing and had their arms around each other. A tear spilled down my cheek. I saw Legolas coming in the distance so I wiped the tear away. I would not let him see me cry.

"Lizzie, there you are. I was afraid that I wouldn't find you."

I turned around on the bench so he couldn't see me. "Why would you care about me? Your stupid hoe seems to be making you happy." I stopped talking because my voice started shaking.

"Lizzie, you have every right to be mad at me. I apologize for hurting you."

My voice calmed. "Who is she."

He walked to the other side of the gazebo so he could look at me. "Before I met you, she was my intended. I told her that I had fallen in love with someone else. She became angry. She said that if I didn't kiss her, she would hurt you. I told Galadriel of her plans, and Galadriel gave her the same punishment as Lindy-poo." I smiled at him calling her that. "Do you forgive me?"

"I'm sorry about slapping you." He laughed and came to sit in front of me.

"Will you have me again?" I grinned and nodded. "Amin mela lle, Lizzie." He leaned in and grabbed my lips in a sensuating kiss. Oh. Life was good.

Since the wedding was a little off schedule, we planned it for the next day. The Lorien seamstresses were working their tails off sewing clothes for us. But, I reserved the right to make my own wedding gown. After all, you only get married once. Heather volunteered to help so she helped me sew nasty buttonholes. Yuck. What I would've given for a zipper.

Heather was sitting in the midst of piles of fabric. "So, remind me again why you're taking back this weasel?" She stabbed her finger, yelped and began to suck on it.

"Heather, do you mind? This is a white dress, not a red one!" We laughed together. I reached out to take the dress. "Here, let me do that." She pulled the dress to her chest.

"No! I'm doing it," she squealed, and almost started crying.

Why was Heather acting like this? Oh yeah, I forgot. Hormones. I rolled my eyes and finished sewing the veil.

In no time, it was wedding time. It was also bathroom time for Heather and myself. Her pregnancy and my jitters were messing up our stomachs. I'd never been married before, so I was really nervous. While Heather helped me get dressed, Haldir came at my request.

He winked at Heather. "Yes, Lady Lizzie?"

I handed him a handmade necklace. "Will you please give this to Legolas?"

Haldir took it. "I will do my best." He kissed Heather's hand and left.

I gave Heather a look. "You have him totally wrapped around your finger. How did you do it?" She grinned and zipped up her lips.

So after clarifying what Heather meant, we got ready to walk the aisle.

Celeborn walked up to me and took my arm. "Are you ready, daughter?"

I wiggled away from his arm. "No, I want Haldir to take me down the aisle."

"That is not normally done."

I glared at him. "Do you want me to 'sic' Heather on you?" He gave me a look and went to go get Haldir.

So, with Haldir at my side, we started the wedding.

"Blah, blah, blah," went Celeborn, who was leading the service. My eyes were focused on Legolas. He was wearing a light blue silk shirt with black leggings. Ooooo. Leggings. I shook my head and got the thought out. My eyes went up to his neck. The blue, black and white necklace was delicately tied there. Its twin was around my neck. I smiled when I got to his gorgeous brown eyes. He was staring at me.

His lips moved. "I do." Oh, that's why he was staring at me.

I was asked the same question. I grinned my innocent grin. "I do."

"If there is anyone here who objects to the marriage of these two, please say so now, or forever hold your peace." My thoughts went to Legolas becoming a mortal. Sweat started coming down my face and I felt sick.

"Well, since there are none, we will proceed."

"No!" I shouted. "No!"

Legolas took my arm. "Lizzie, what is it?"

"You can't become a mortal! I won't let you!" I ran down the aisle all the way back to my talan. I shut my bedroom door, locked it and fell onto the bed. As I fell down, I swept a box off the table and the lid came off. "I want to be an elf," I sobbed. "I don't want Legolas to suffer death for me."

"You have already made a wish, you cannot make two," said a sweet voice. I sprang up. The box was floating in mid-air and it was held by a shining faerie. She laughed at my expression. "Do not be frightened, I am your wish. You have used me, so now I must go." She began to disappear.

I called out. "Wait, what did I wish for?" I was too late. I felt a sharp pain in my ears, like a piercing, but less stinging.

I ran to the mirror and what was at the end of my ears? Points. I was an elf.

[Hee hee. I liked the wish part. Kind of cool, huh?]


	26. Chapter 26: The knot is tied

[Okay peoples, last chapter! Waaaaaaah!]

My smiled threatened to pop my jaw off. I was an elf! I started repeating it to myself.

"I'm an elf. I'm an elf! I'M AN ELF!!!" By the time the door opened, I was jumping up and down and didn't even notice that someone had the key to my room. It was Legolas.

"Lizzie, what's the matter?" I stopped jumping and ran to him.

"Legolas, you don't have to become mortal!"

He slowed me down and held my arms. "Lizzie, please listen to me. I want to become mortal because I love you. Not being with you would be worse than dying."

I angrily shook free from his grasp. "NO! You don't understand!"

He took my hands again. "I do understand, mela. The best sacrifices are made for love."

I broke free again and stood a step away from him. "NO! Look!" My hair had fallen down, so I slowly pulled it back to reveal my new ears.

He gasped and reached out to slowly touch them. He ran his fingers over the points and sent shivers up my spine.

"But, how did you-"

I put my fingers on his lips and looked over at the bed. He followed my gaze and saw what I was looking at. The wish box was lying open on the coverlet. He turned back to me with a smile that made my knees go weak.

"You used your precious wish so that I wouldn't have to become mortal?"

I grinned. "Can you think of a better use for-" Before I could finish speaking, he grabbed me in a fiery kiss. Before we could kiss again, a voice interrupted us.

"Shame shame! I know your name!" Heather and Haldir stood in the doorway shaking their fingers at us.

"Eavesdropper," I said to Heather and stuck my tongue out.

She laughed at us. "Come on you two. We have a ceremony to finish." We all left and went back to the ceremony.

Celeborn opened his book. "Well, I'm glad that you could come and join us." We grinned. "Now, the rings."

Rings weren't used at wedding ceremonies in Middle-Earth, but I had insisted on it. Haldir gave Legolas my ring. It was silver with a tiny vine delicately wrapped around the whole ring and the center was a red rose with tiny silver embellishments. I smiled as he slipped it on my finger. My man delivered alright. Heather handed me Legolas's ring. Although not as extravagant, his ring was still beautiful. It was also a silver ring, with the seven duties of an Elvish husband inscribed on the outside. Protect, honor, dedicate, respect, be gentle, show mercy and love with all your heart. With shaking fingers, I slipped it onto his hand. He smiled and covered my hands with his own.

"I now pronounce you elf and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Legolas slowly brought my clasped hands over his head and lifted me up so that my feet couldn't touch the floor. He lifted a finger to stroke my pointy ear before he tenderly kissed me. I grinned against his mouth. I had found my purpose.

The end.

[AWWWWWWWW! It gives me goosebumps. lol The sequel will be put up soon!]


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